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Talked with a terminally ill indivual today.

 
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Post Talked with a terminally ill indivual today. roughridercog
He is a Christian. But he said something that stuck in my mind.
He said, "I've gone from living life to the fullest to living like is prisoner awaiting release from prison."

How would you have responded to this person?
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10/28/19 5:11 pm


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Post Dave Dorsey
That reminds me of something I read on another forum, which I'd like to share. It was in a thread discussing the DNRs and end of life care from a Christian perspective.

Quote:
For people who are already sick (with cancer, or another chronic debilitating illness that dramatically reduces both quality and quantity of life), healthy folks need to understand that they are ready to die. They've said goodbye, they are right with the Lord or at peace with their decision otherwise, and they are suffering horribly every day. High on Oxy and morphine, constipated, watching TV all day, and that's a good day. On a bad day, they are coughing up their own fecal material.

For these folks they don't want to unnaturally sustain life. And I can see nothing in Scripture that would forbid that. "Thou shalt not kill" doesn't translate to "Thou shalt promote respiration at all cost."

Except for a long time, I thought withholding food and drink in certain situations was morally wrong. I mean, Jesus said that to give people even a cup of water in his name was pious and right. So withholding it would be wrong--that's where I was for years.

Then I went through more deaths. The kicker was my own mother. After strokes and other debilitating events, we had her at home. Feeding tube was installed because her slow swallow reflex went into overdrive--she could not swallow.

Well, I thought, in goes the feeding tube. That's how I'll get food and water to her.

We did everything right but it came to a time when even without the massive drugs given by Hospice stopping up her bowels, the feeding tube simply didn't work. We tried. Doctors tried.

So we stopped feeding her. We had no choice, really.

This helped me to understand how giving her food and drink while she was in a coma with her bowels stopping to make noises and her kidneys stopping their work--that was food and drink for me. Not for her. It made me feel better, but not her. And that's selfish.

There's a lot of good ethical writing and thinking on this complex topic. I'm not at my bookcases or I'd give you a couple.

This post has really left me thinking.

The poster eventually returned to give this suggestion, which I have not yet reviewed: https://www.northlondonchurch.org/ministers-blog/post/john-frame-on-death-and-dying
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10/28/19 5:39 pm


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Post Re: Talked with a terminally ill indivual today. FLRon
roughridercog wrote:
He is a Christian. But he said something that stuck in my mind.
He said, "I've gone from living life to the fullest to living like is prisoner awaiting release from prison."

How would you have responded to this person?


I think I would have responded with a compassionate acknowledgment of how incredibly blessed he was to be able to live life to the fullest for as long as he did. Now, he is entering yet another stage of life, one that all of us will enter. I would kindly remind him not to lose sight of the ultimate prize that awaits him.
I have sat with so many of the dying, both saved and admittedly not saved, but it is never easy to find the right words to share. I think the fact that you cared enough to spend time with this person at this stage of their life speaks louder than any words.
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10/28/19 7:47 pm


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Post Cojak
Dave Dorsey wrote:

I did not repeat the comment, BUT have been there and done that..... 3 times, mother and 2 Sister.s

To the OP, I have no words, I wish I did. The older I get the harder I know it is to comfort the terminally ill. I was just there to hold a hand and sing.
One we did withhold food, that is one excruciating period of time. I will say this, that sister was 'out of it at the end' but just before death her eyes opened after two days, they were BRIGHT as if she saw something (not us), she SMILED then went flat line.

How to answer that question RR? I could only say, "I truly don't know how you feel, but I think I understand!"
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10/28/19 9:19 pm


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Post Re: Talked with a terminally ill indivual today. Cojak
roughridercog wrote:
He is a Christian. But he said something that stuck in my mind.
He said, "I've gone from living life to the fullest to living like is prisoner awaiting release from prison."

How would you have responded to this person?

How did you respond my friend? Question
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10/28/19 9:20 pm


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Post Re: Talked with a terminally ill indivual today. roughridercog
Cojak wrote:
roughridercog wrote:
He is a Christian. But he said something that stuck in my mind.
He said, "I've gone from living life to the fullest to living like is prisoner awaiting release from prison."

How would you have responded to this person?

How did you respond my friend? Question


I shared with him that he is not the first person who loved God to say, "It is enough now, Lord. Take away my life." God understands his pain. What is ahead is better than anything he leaves behind. That when his "day of release" comes, run into the arms of a Savior that gave Himself for him. Do not hesitate, but know that he has kept the faith and the greatest part, the most full part of his existence is ahead.
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10/29/19 9:21 am


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Post Re: Talked with a terminally ill indivual today. Cojak
roughridercog wrote:
Cojak wrote:
roughridercog wrote:
He is a Christian. But he said something that stuck in my mind.
He said, "I've gone from living life to the fullest to living like is prisoner awaiting release from prison."

How would you have responded to this person?

How did you respond my friend? Question


I shared with him that he is not the first person who loved God to say, "It is enough now, Lord. Take away my life." God understands his pain. What is ahead is better than anything he leaves behind. That when his "day of release" comes, run into the arms of a Savior that gave Himself for him. Do not hesitate, but know that he has kept the faith and the greatest part, the most full part of his existence is ahead.


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10/29/19 9:50 am


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Post Da Sheik
Quote:

I shared with him that he is not the first person who loved God to say, "It is enough now, Lord. Take away my life."


So true!
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10/29/19 10:14 am


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Post Cojak
Da Sheik wrote:
Quote:

I shared with him that he is not the first person who loved God to say, "It is enough now, Lord. Take away my life."


So true!
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10/30/19 9:56 am


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Post Some thoughts.... Aaron Scott
If I am AWARE that I am being starved/thirsted to death, I don't want that. But neither do I want to eat if I don't want to eat. Not an easy choice for anyone to make on such a matter.

Ideally, I would simply want someone to administer a euphoric drug that made me feel as calm and wonderful as possible...then a drug that would simply stop my life. I don't consider it suicide if there is no chance of living without a miracle. And if God has been given plenty of time to do a miracle, then He, knowing that what I want done, can step in and make that happen. Otherwise, let me go. I don't want to be a burden or be unable to be of any use to anyone (I think I might be at that point already!).

My dad told me something that did a great deal of good for me. He is 80-years-old, and a few years back, I was, for some reason, asking about "pulling the plug" on him (perhaps someone we knew had had to make that choice). I did not think I would have the ability to pull the plug on my dear ol' dad. But what he said changed everything....

He told me that he wouldn't want to live like that! That that was "no way to live." Further, he had lived a good, long, happy life, was ready to go, and so what of it?

I said, "But what if you are "locked in"--that is, you can hear us talk, but you can't respond?" His response was again, "That's no way to live!"

And so, if the time comes, I suppose I will take him for a final road trip far into the Smokies or the Rockies, perhaps...then allow him to watch a day go by in those mountains that he loves so much...and just sit with him until he is gone.

The Lord knows that I hope that never happens. But it would be my dad's wish, I think, to do something like that before he was just permitted to wither away...and, worse, know he was withering away.

And that would be my wish for myself also. I want to live long and prosper (wink), but when the time comes to go, let me go without holding me back artificially.

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN PROLONGING LIFE AND SIMPLY DELAYING DEATH.
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10/30/19 2:20 pm


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