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bonnie knox

I was told I bite

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 **7/31/17 4:35 pm**

Several weeks ago, we had a new person teaching our Sunday school class. He said something to the effect of being a bit nervous knowing he would be teaching a class where there were 2 people who knew more about the Bible than he did. (Now, I'm pretty sure one of those 2 was Chief Charging Battery, and the other could have been me, though I didn't really try to assume that.)
The class is small and informal, so I thought I would try to put him at ease by borrowing a phrase I've heard someone else use, and I said, "We don't bite."
His response caught me off guard. He said, "YOU do!" He didn't put his shovel down either; he went on to say he prayed for Chief Charging Battery all the time.
Shocked

diakoneo

Golf Cart Mafia Consigliere Posts: 3382 **7/31/17 9:01 pm**

Wow! You guys must be trouble with a capital t. Smile

bonnie knox

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 **7/31/17 9:16 pm**

Well, it's just me apparently who is trouble. The teacher was praying for my husband because he felt sorry for him for having to deal with me, apparently.
A few weeks before that, my husband had taught the class (which is exceedingly rare). He realized near the end that he hadn't left much time for discussion. He apologized, and I said I would talk to him later. I was sort of being tongue-in-cheek about the fact that I would have time to discuss anything I wanted to say later by virtue of the fact that we live together. Well, the guy who later told me I bite thought I was threatening to scold my husband later, I guess. He came up to me between Sunday school and worship service and implored me not to be too hard on my husband. I was laughing at the guy because he had totally misunderstood me, but I did get a bit discouraged about when he labeled a biter. It kind of makes me want to skip Sunday school at times.

Carolyn Smith

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5923 **7/31/17 9:45 pm**

Ouch, Bonnie! That hurts...but perhaps you could focus on the fact that he knows you know the Bible.

Hopefully you'll keep going to SS and he'll realize he doesn't know you well enough to make such judgments. I can't believe he said that in public! Really out of place in SS. Sad

Hugs and bless his heart...
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Acts-perienced Poster Posts: 11849 **7/31/17 9:54 pm**

Maybe he meant it as a joke, but he was nervous and uptight, so it didn't come off as a joke.
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wayne

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1274 **8/1/17 7:37 am**

....Or maybe you can focus on this young man's perception of you and evaluate how you look to others.

Bonnie,
I really don't know you but I have to admit, you do bite. I am truly impressed with your wealth of knowledge but at times you come across as a know it all and if what is being discussed does not line up with your opinion, it's wrong.

Don't skip the Sunday School class, help the young man and work to help the others study the scripture for themselves. This way they will get to the point to where God reveals himself to them through his Word.

I truly say all that in love.

Nature Boy Florida

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 16646 **8/1/17 9:00 am**

SO you bite.

Is that a negative?

At least he knows not to come to the front of the class without studying thoroughly.
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bonnie knox

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 **8/1/17 9:14 am**

Wayne, believe it or not, I have been quite introspective about this. This happened several weeks ago, so I've had time to process. I'm putting it out here probably to get a little feedback as well.
By the way, I didn't say the guy was "young."
What I've taken into account is that the guy doesn't seem to know me well, and he quite obviously misinterpreted what I said about speaking to my husband later. I don't know what the other people in the class think of me really and truly, but I do know the other guy who alternates teaching will comment that he appreciates my perspective and the lady who previously taught the class seemed to think my hobby horse was keeping scripture in context (and I am big on that, but I'm not one dimensional). There is also another substitute teacher who seems to enjoy my input (and gets my sense of humor).
The other thing I think is that it is possible he is projecting onto me feelings he has had toward someone in the past whom I remind him of. The other thing is perhaps is his personality type or his views of whether women should speak out.
I also tried to look at what I've said in Sunday school. I back up what I say with scripture (except being mistaken about where Asia Minor is, lol). This is the part that I find discouraging that makes me not want to go to Sunday school. If someone is teaching, should he or she not be able to handle a correction or challenge if it is based on scripture? There are plenty of things that I could respond to that I don't (but as a friend told me, one can't get credit for that because all other people see are the things one DOES respond to). Also, what I say here on the forum is going to be much more involved because there is not a time limit. In Sunday school, there is a strict time limit. Believe it or not, I just refrained from any commentary whatsoever that morning. I do that sometimes in Sunday school, which might be a shock to forum readers. Also because of the nature of this forum, there is room for a broader range of topics here than in Sunday school.

bonnie knox

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 **8/1/17 9:18 am**

I guess as long as I heed Paul's admonition to not inhale, I'll be okay. Laughing

(Galatians 5:15)

wayne

Bonnie

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1274 **8/1/17 10:04 am**

bonnie knox

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 **8/1/17 10:44 am**

Thanks. I appreciate the thought that maybe he will get to know me better over time, and I really am trying to be patient about that. We did happen to unexpectedly meet at a venue outside of church a few weeks ago, and I had a chance to chat briefly with his wife and say hello to him and the other members of our church who were with him.

Carolyn Smith

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5923 **8/1/17 1:23 pm**

I'm glad you were able to see him outside of church. Perhaps he will get to know you a bit better.

And I agree with the comment that you probably intimidate him with your knowledge. I am that way with a few people myself when I am teaching my class (adult SS).

I don't have a problem with discussion in my class, but I think it's rude to tell me I'm wrong about something in front of the class. My husband has done this on more than one occasion and I finally had to ask him to do this outside of the class. If you disagree, that's fine, but don't tell me I'm wrong in front of everybody. That's embarrassing. If you feel I am completely wrong, let's discuss that after class. And if I am wrong and feel it needs correcting with the class, I am more than willing to do that.
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Cojak

01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24285 **8/1/17 3:25 pm**

Maybe a teacher/leader should know how to take 'help/correction' but they are human, and humans don't accept it too well.

Personal example: I am a 'generalizer' as a rule and my wife is SPECIFIC! If I am telling some sea-story and say 'Last October we were in Kansas.' Sherry will automatically say, 'It was September!' . I can say, "I was 26 when I joined the Navy" She automatically will say, "You were 27." She is always right, but if I don't watch it, I will get my hackles up because it is not important to me at the time.. She doesn't mean to 'CORRECT ME', it is just that her mentality requires specifics. So those are not scriptural 'corrections' but raise the same emotions. (methinks)

But then I do think when he really gets to know you he will respect you, shucks I did, but that has been long distance! LOL

Love you lady and I do respect your knowledge and ability to stand toe to toe with some thinkers here on this Forum. Cool

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bonnie knox

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 **8/1/17 4:06 pm**

Well, I guess I have gone both ways--mentioning something on the spot or mentioning it later.
One time another student said the Bible said, "Neither a borrower nor lender be." The teacher didn't correct him at the time. After class, I challenged the man to find the reference (because I was pretty sure that wasn't in the Bible). Turns out it was Shakespeare! Laughing

To the teacher that kept saying "Revelations," I told him on the spot he needed to drop the "s." Idea

I also challenged that teacher on generational curses in the class. I think I said, "It's not scriptural." This was after he had already carried on about how when we accept Jesus, the DNA in our blood is literally, physically changed. Shocked

I did address the topic of generational curses a little further after class when a lady asked me what I had been going to say. She said that in front of the teacher so we could discuss it together.
One thing I do try to be aware of is who all is in the class. The smaller the class, and the more long-time attenders, the more likely I am to confront something.

Carolyn Smith

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5923 **8/1/17 10:25 pm**

skinnybishop

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1055 **8/2/17 7:24 am**

Aaron Scott

Bonnie...some thoughts

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 6042 **8/2/17 9:17 am**

You do not come across to me as a know-it-all. Maybe that's because I am already confident that I know it all Laughing

.

I would think that the real issue is that the fellow is a bit insecure. Also, it might be that it is hard to handle corrections, etc. (which follows from the first sentence).

I had a guy in a Sunday School class one time. He was truly a smart guy, but he did come across as pontificating all the time (as in "I know something you don't know). I wasn't even the teacher, and I tended to cringe when he would speak.

I learned from that that UNLESS it is virtually NECESSARY to stop and correct a person, I can wait (except on Actscelerate, where it MUST be done immediately!). Also, I learned (from my dad) to structure correction as a question ("Do you think that this verse has any impact on our take on the matter?)...or as a bit self-deprecating ("Well, I don't know what they don't call it "Revelations"--after all, there are a number of revelations in there, right?). You get the idea.

In any case, I think you'd be an awesome SS teacher and/or student. Our people SHOULD keep teachers and preachers on their toes.

wayne

confront?

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1274 **8/2/17 9:19 am**

Bonnie,
"The smaller the class, and the more long-time attenders, the more likely I am to confront something."
Confront is an aggressive term, why do you feel the need to confront?

brotherjames

Hmmm

Acts-celerater Posts: 935 **8/2/17 9:46 am**

bonnie knox

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 **8/2/17 10:02 am**

Well, the "Revelations" thing was sort of funny, actually, and I think that guy took that part in good humor. He referenced it at a later lesson with a grin, actually. He is over 50, has been in the church for years, and, no, just telling him that at the outset of the lesson in a very small class setting that is open for pupil participation was not being a troublemaker. (And that particular guy is one who does get my sense of humor, and he is not the one who said I bite. He rarely teaches our class.)
The suggestion to speak to the pastor if there is a pattern of error is hilarious in this situation. The pastor is the one who claims "statistics prove generational curses exist."
And I'll give you another example of something that I didn't broach in class, but DID get back to the pastor, and I'll tell you how that went down. We have 2 adult classes. Sometimes they are combined if one of the teachers is out. Anyway, in the one I'm in, the 4 of the last 5 teachers have left our church. (No, I didn't run them off, lol.) The second of the last 5 got up on his first day teaching and presented a lesson on being "baptized and thou shalt be saved." It seemed to me he was trying to say that baptism was required for salvation. I did further research and found he had lifted the lesson straight from a paper written by a Church of Christ(?) minister who indeed believed baptism was required for salvation. Now here is where it gets interesting. My husband had usher duties which required him to be elsewhere, so he was not in Sunday school that morning. I talked to him about what had transpired. My husband talked to the pastor. Now, when I say my husband is a man of few words I might be understating it because he did not tell me that he was going to talk to the pastor, and I didn't ask him to nor expect him to, and if I remember correctly I didn't know until a week later that he had. The next Sunday in class, we had one STEAMED teacher. He wanted to know if one of us had a problem why we wouldn't come to him instead of going over his head to the pastor. Now what could I say? I had not gone to the pastor and had no intentions of bringing it up with the pastor. I also didn't want to sit there and blame my husband. The whole vibe was like, "Which one of you cowards is the traitor?" The teacher was demanding if any of us had any questions about what he had taught, but the strong implication is that if anyone said anything they would be found out to be the fink, so to speak. Finally, I said, "This is not what our church believes." The first word out of his mouth was, "now!" as if to say, now we can proceed because I know who the tattletale is. It was very unpleasant to say the least.
Now to that particular guy's credit, he must not have held a grudge against me because once he asked me to sub for him. I had never been asked to teach that class before, but I said sure. During the whole lesson I taught, one of the other guys who subs from time to time sat in the corner and sulked because he had not been asked to teach (presumably wondering if the regular teacher was being racist). That was awkward, too.