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COG Members & Ministers Have A Right To Agree Or Disagree With Lee Policies

 
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Post COG Members & Ministers Have A Right To Agree Or Disagree With Lee Policies doyle
WISE LEADERS listen kindly to those whom they serve, even those who disagree with them though that may be uncomfortable. This is especially true if those we serve HAVE NOT received correct information.

IT IS NOT their responsibility to try and guess what the leader seeks to convey. It is the LEADER'S responsibility to keep the people informed. Leaders who HAVE NOT kept the people informed, cannot faint in frustration or attack the people for not knowing.

IF YOU WANT them to know, TELL THEM BEFORE problems of miscommunication arise.

Listening to people, even when you disagree with what they say, provides several opportunities. 1. It provides opportunity to share the Leader's perspective, the WHY a particular policy is enacted. 2. A leader can learn what wrong information the person may have been led to believe.

Some people are intentionally cantankerous. However, even the kindly but concerned may have received wrong information. They will not know that unless the Leader lets them know.

TO DISDAIN THEM actually enhances their belief that they are right and you are either "hiding something" or have wrong motives. In many cases, sharing your perspective and the "WHY" of a decision, can calm the resistance dramatically.

It does not mean they will suddenly agree with you, but if they feel a fair hearing has been received, and you kept a cool head under fire, that too diminishes hostility.

QUESTIONS THAT BURDEN THE HEART
Is Lee expected to treat students struggling with sexual identity as an enemy? Of course not! Is Lee allowed to even ask new students if they are gay? Most likely not.

"By the way, are you gay and if so, how gay are you?" This is most likely a question Lee U. can NEVER ask. It is included here only to illustrate the complexity of the situation Christian Colleges are dealing with.

Why does Lee try and help a gay student instead of drumming them out of our school immediately? How does Lee U. deal with the situation when someone is openly gay at Lee? How long are they allowed to stay before being asked to leave? How does the school tell a student that they cannot be part of the school anymore because they are gay? Can Lee tell them that?

Is there a special team of Counselors or consultants present when the student is told they must leave or be expelled?

Have COG ministers and members forgotten that Lee students often come from COG congregations? Why is it that Lee is expected to "fix" situations in a few months or a year, that have not been addressed for years in the congregation?

HOW MANY TEARS?
How do you even approach the subject of whether a student is gay or not when Federal Law makes that difficult? How long do you pray before telling a gay student they are being dismissed from the school? How many tears do you shed when you know cancelling their enrollment may actually drive them even further into certain lifestyles, but Scripture is clear on the subject.

Knowing their heart for the students under their care, I would imagine that Paul Conn and Mark Walker too, have shed many tears in such heart-wrenching situations.

If you take action, the student will most likely be crushed and scared for life from the memory of shame and disappointment of expulsion. As long as they live, they will never forget it. However, NOT taking a stand is ALSO taking a stand.

HOW DO YOU TELL a student's Mother or Father their child is being dismissed from school because of being gay? Are you allowed by law to even do that? Probably not. If a parent calls and wants to know why their child was expelled, what does the school say?

Those precious loving parents may have been faithful COG members for years. They may have sent their cherished child to Lee in desperate HOPE something there could help set them straight.

"Please God," when on their knees they pray. "On this earth we have nothing more precious to us than our son or daughter. Somehow, some way God, let something be said or done at Lee to open their eyes..."

IT'S COMPLICATED, REALLY complicated even though a loving stand must be taken. It's hot tears flowing down the face. It's napkins and tissues damp with youthful tears. It's gut-wrenching, heart-breaking.

DECISIONS determine DIRECTION and DIRECTION determines DESTINY. Ultimately, it is about DESTINY.

ALONG WITH OTHER Viewers, I have seen the letter the Lee University Board has written in response to various criticisms. I also saw the long list of honored and respected Board Members and the former and present school Presidents.

IT IS DIFFICULT to know if the Letter will make things better or worse. I think it leans toward the latter. A long and intentionally intimidating list of officialdom and bona-fides as to why said list is too astute to be challenged, may not go down well. There are some substances that if you stomp on them, it just causes them to splatter further and on more people.

Bureaucracies do that kind of self-defense so often until it almost dominates the news. One wonders if anyone on the Lee Board has been watching the news lately about School Boards and parents?

Listen, Lee Board Members have every right to make a defense, but the timing for this Lee Letter is about as bad as could be possible. Absolutely make a defense but do so in a kind and non-defensive way.

"Thank you for sharing your feelings. We realize how emotional this is. We apologize for not being more clear in communicating our strong but loving stance Lee U. is taking. Along with you, we seek the best for your precious youth you have entrusted for a time to Lee."

In particular, address some of the issues and the struggle that comes along with it. A long self-aggrandizing letter is counterproductive. "Please pray for us as we deal with these difficult issues. We are open to your feelings about these issues. We love and cherish the souls of our beloved students."

INSTEAD OF BRISTLING at criticism, be thankful people care enough to tell you how they feel. In the COG, a tightly-held Centralized Government, speaking out can destroy people's position or livelihood. If they are speaking out with that kind of threat hanging over them, do not doubt the depth or seriousness of their feelings.

Feelings about these issues are tender to say the least. Any attempt to crush those who may criticize school policies, could turn a hill-to-climb into a volcano. Intentionally or not, it seems the Board's letter may have taken a step in that direction. No Board as authority over how people can feel.

For those on the Lee Board who may not be COG ministers, that may be difficult to comprehend, but a COG minister speaking out, even sharing feelings contrary to what some in denominational power think, can be viewed as intentional subterfuge.

GO ON OFFENSE WITHOUT BEING OFFENSIVE
Listening to those who disagree does not mean we have to do what they say or want. Remember, they do not know what you know. They may not know the "back story" of WHY a particular decision is made.

Personally, I have MUCH respect for Dr. Paul Conn and his many years as President at Lee. I remember well his Father and Mother too and am in awe at the quality and depth of those great people. The same is felt for the current President of Lee University, Dr. Mark Walker.

There is no doubt that those chosen to serve on the Lee U. Board are also dynamic and dedicated people, or know someone who is. However, until Lee U. leadership shares with COG ministers and members about the STRUGGLE and the "WHY" for various decisions, letters and responses like the recent one, may light more fires tan it puts out.

That is my opinion. We welcome hearing yours whether you agree or disagree.

Doyle
writedoyle@mail.com
404-933-1373
_________________
The largest room in the world is the room for improvement.


Last edited by doyle on 10/20/21 4:05 pm; edited 1 time in total
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10/16/21 2:40 pm


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Post Quiet Wyatt
I don’t think there really is a way to expel someone just for ‘being gay,’ however that identity may be defined. It seems the most basic definition of ‘being gay’ these days is to experience same-sex attraction. It does seem obvious that a school like Lee can expel anyone for sexual immorality, whether hetero or homosexual, or for promoting sexual immorality of any kind (like, for instance, being pro gay marriage or pro heterosexual fornication or being publicly vocally pro-homosexual behavior). [Insert Acts Pun Here]
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10/16/21 5:09 pm


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