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doyle

Young people who "CUT" themselves: Seeking your advice

Acts-celerate Owner Posts: 6957 **1/8/16 12:41 am**

Though I have recently been in intensive Chaplaincy training and have hundreds of hours serving as a Chaplain in the Emergency Room (one of the busiest in Georgia), your input and or guidance would be much appreciated. This is concerning young people, and some adults, who are "cutters."

Last night, as I was making rounds in the ER, a Charge Nurse asked to speak with me. She said, "Chaplain, we have a young man, 17 years old, in room #xyz. He has come in because of some deep cuts he's made on his arms. However,' she shared, "there are 20 or 30 other cutting-scars that have healed from past cuttings; arms, legs, chest. I think he's in
deep emotional trouble."

As I entered what our staff calls the "garage," an area where those who have attempted or threatened suicide, cutters, and some psych patients are held, instead of seeing some wild maniac, a wacked out person who was emotionally climbing the walls, in the bed was a kind, handsome young man who spoke quietly and calmly.

Just outside the; "garage," a room with nothing in it but the bed; no TV, no phone, no photos on the wall, was what is known as the "Sitter." Sitters are those hired by the hospital to sit either in the room or at the door, of patients who are talking suicide, are "cutters" or have other deep emotional problems. The Sitter keeps an eye on the patient and notifies staff if the patient tries to hurt themselves while in the room.

The worse things someone in the role of Chaplain can do, is chastise them, preach at them, lecture them about the error of their actions. If any of that worked, of course, do them. But those things do not work. By the time we seem them in the hospital, tons of people have already been lecturing and chastising them for months.

Though I have seriously studied the motivations behind the "cutting," I still have trouble grasping it. We are told that the reason they "cut" their flesh, is to relieve their emotional pain. As the young man in the bed explained, to him, cutting a hole in his flesh, opened up a place where the emotional pressure could be released. Those who study "cutters," say their emotional pain is beyond what they can deal with.

We have a steady stream of such young people come into the ER each week. I usually begin by finding a chair so I can sit near eye-level or even slightly lower so I'm not towering over them in a power position. I think it actually helps if the head of their bed is raised so they are slightly higher than me. That may help them seemingly have the position of power.

"Hi Michael (name changed). My name is Doyle. I'm the Emergency Room Chaplain. I've heard that you have been suffering emotional pain. I've come to listen. Tell me about your pain."

Michael is a Christian; accepted Christ as a child and attends church almost every week. His family are faithful attenders at a Bible-believing Baptist church. He wonders if cutting himself causes God not to love him. On-and-on it goes between he and I, with me mostly listening, for over an hour. We had prayer and he squeezed my hand like someone falling off a cliff who had grabbed the last branch of a bush to help keep him from going over the edge.

I left his room feeling my presence had mattered. We really did connect and for the first time, nurses say he talked with someone about his situation. However, I also left the room feeling incomplete in my knowledge of what drives these wonderful young people to cut themselves.

I thought possibly some of our viewers had been "cutters" in the past, or even now, or had loved ones, friends, children etc., who have been or are, cutters. Any information you can share that will increase my knowledge or understanding, will be greatly appreciated. And if a discussion develops it may be of help to other viewers who are working with young people who are involved in cutting.

THANKS MUCH for any input you can share.

Doyle
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Cojak

01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24282 **1/8/16 12:51 am**

In my 77 years I have never met a 'cutter', I have heard of the term of course over the years.
Thanks for an insight I have never had. As a Hospital Chaplain it was only with your 'normal' patient.

You have insight, and a chance most of us will never have. I pray that God will continue to use you, and to give you insight, that I KNOW you have as compared to us neophytes. God is good continue a good work. Cool

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Acts-pert Poster Posts: 15570 **1/9/16 12:54 am**

Doyle, Ive seen a few folk I wanted to "cut," but it never was me. No, I'm joshin man.

Seriously, this has gotta be some kinda emotional/mental disorder.

revuriah

Golf Cart Mafia Underboss Posts: 3682 **1/9/16 12:24 pm**

Thanks for sharing. I'm in a place in life where ministry isn't a "professional" career. In fact, my pulpit ministry is pretty well non-existent, and I'm just doing what I can to serve my church, my pastor, and be a witness to those around me.

One of the thoughts I've had is volunteering as a hospital chaplain. I'm certain with my OB creds and my schooling that I am currently undergoing, I could do it. The reason is just what you've shared, Doyle. Real people with real problems. How can I best approach the local hospital/ER about this?

Anyway, as far as cutting, it's a real issue, and from my understanding, it's not necessarily because these kids are suicidal. They are hurting and don't know how to handle it. I'm reminded of the Gadarene demoniac. He was a cutter. I imagine the horror of possession would bring out some disturbing behavior.

Praying for this young man, that he comes to know the healing grace of Jesus.
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Redneck

Acts-celerater Posts: 664 **1/9/16 1:44 pm**

Doyle...you did more than most licensed professionals do. I work as an Nurse Practitioner in a small rural ER in Alabama. I have had my share of "psych" patients. I often struggle with these folks and have a hard time dealing with them because I hate dealing with psychiatric patients. From the healthcare side of things, we are trying to "fix" what is wrong and we do that through various methods, procedures, medications....

When a person has a problem that can't be seen or is subjective to the patients input/response as to whether or not they are better, it makes for a difficult situation. Also it is a specialty that only a select few really enjoy dealing with. Every provider in our ER would rather deal with a constipated 80 year old with a 3 day old fecal impaction than have to deal with a psychiatric patient. It is what it is.

Had a 30 yo woman at Thanksgiving come in that had cut for the first time because she had got in an argument with her daughter and husband. Box cutter did some damage. Fortunately I got her in at a psyche hospital and hopefully she got some help.

I see kids on a regular basis from a Diversion School, that are doped up to no end that, IMO could be have most of their emotional issues fixed with a father that cared and belt that was used properly.
I'm not saying that a belt is the fix all for everything, but one thing I'm convinced of. Medication is not the answer to everything, and from a provider perspective, that is about all we have in our arsenal.

I said all that to say this. You did more good than you will ever know. Folks like that understand more and get more than you realize. You had no agenda, you might be getting paid by the hospital, however you are in a situation that doesn't affect them "medically". And by that your not in there trying to figure out the psychosocial aspect of what is affecting them and figuring out if they need a certain pill to combat whatever "demons" they struggle with. You are a compassionate ear with no agenda. Keep it that way and while you may not feel like you are making an impact, I promise you that you are. GREATLY.
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