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Paige Hamby |
Don't even get me started on this.
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www.tuttletree.net |
Acts-celerater
Posts: 679
2/9/12 8:33 am
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Eddie Robbins |
| Paige Hamby wrote: | | Don't even get me started on this. |
A woman dare have an opinion? |
Acts-pert Poster
Posts: 16509
2/9/12 8:35 am
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Brandon Bowers |
| Paige Hamby wrote: | | Don't even get me started on this. |
Yes. Yes I will... Get started. 
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Golf Cart Mafia Capo Famiglia
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2/9/12 8:36 am
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Eddie Robbins |
| You guys that say this is sexual.....only for the perverted men in your congregation. You need to cast that demon out. (there you go, Paige) |
Acts-pert Poster
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2/9/12 8:37 am
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InspiredHillbilly |
See I don't think it's sexual at all... my what Freud could do with someone who found breastfeeding sexual. However, I do believe public breastfeeding is inappropriate and should be private.
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Rev. C. Todd Robbins
Evangelist - Emmanuel Churches of Christ
The Greatest Risk... is the Risk of Regret... |
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2/9/12 8:40 am
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Dave Dorsey |
It's not that it's sexual so much as that it's inappropriate. I wouldn't even mind a mother sitting on the back row so long as she's using a modest covering and being careful to never expose herself during transition.
I will never forget a day I was at the mall with a friend. We were outside Hecht's looking over a railing onto the first floor of the mall while his wife finished her shopping. There was a woman sitting down there nursing and from our perspective above her there was certainly nothing left to the imagination.
The opposite of sexualizing it (which apparently this church did) is declaring it a sacred and beautiful rite that everyone should appreciate beholding, which is equally weird and wrong. It is beautiful, but it's something that should be beautiful in private.
For every dude who wants it to be something sexual that should be hidden there's a mom (and probably more than one!) who want it to be in your face and appreciated for the beautiful, majestic, glorious thing it is. They're both weird and they're both wrong. |
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Posts: 13654
2/9/12 8:46 am
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Paige Hamby |
Changed my mind, I'm in:
If you are going to tell a woman not to breastfeed somewhere in public, you better have a quiet, comfortable place for her to nurse that does NOT involve a dirty bathroom! Do you enjoy eating on the toilet? Neither do I want to nurse my baby there. If stores/restuarants/public places want women enjoying their facilities and spending money in their establishments, they better have a place for us to feed our children if they don't want it done in public places (there was a big sit-in at Target last month because an employee asked a mother not to nurse her baby in their store. However, there was no where other than the bathroom for her to nurse in).
We have visited many churches during my nursing days and you would be amazed at how difficult it is to find a place to nurse in most churches! The nursery is not always a convenient place to nurse as other mothers may be using the one and only rocking chair. The other challenge to the nursery for some moms is that my children are back to back. If I used the nursery with my 2nd child, my 1st would have been all over me and wouldn't have let me leave the room when I was finished. I've had to nurse in bathrooms, dark supply rooms, on children's chairs in unused kids rooms, the floor and even in the car. If you are offended by having moms nurse in public, please have a quiet place for them to go nurse.
Even last week as we visited a new church in our area (the biggest in the county, actually) it took a good 5 minutes to find someone who knew where the nursing room was.
I rarely ever nurse in public and if I do, it is extremely concealed. But I also don't appreciate dirty looks from people and if anyone had the nerve to actually tell me to stop, so help them! I've come to the conclusion that the same people who give dirty looks and have something to say about nursing in public are the same ones pitching a fit when our babies are crying/fussing in public. They probably also never experienced the natural beauty of nursing themselves 
As far as pictures on FB, some people find it truly beautiful. I think it is! I have many pictures of myself nursing the boys - I don't post them online due to personal modesty reasons but I have no problem seeing the artistic expression of other moms doing it.
I also don't think it's a fad. I think young moms are proud to breastfeed their babies because in this day and age, it's pushed down our throats to give them formula. You would be amazed at how many people act like nursing is the weird option. I think we are proud of ourselves that in this busy day and age of working outside the home, caring for our families and meeting all the other demands that face moms these days, we've made the choice to sacrifice our time by spending hours a day providing our babies with the best nutrition possible- whether it's at the store, a restaurant or anywhere else for that matter
Obviously, this is my soapbox
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2/9/12 8:48 am
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Dave Dorsey |
Here's the article about the Facebook nurse-in: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/08/facebook-nurse-in-60-brea_n_1263532.html
Note that Facebook isn't flagging modest breastfeeding photos as inappropriate, but photos in which an exposed breast can be seen. And even that has riled the Mommy Mafia into action.
One one of the comments to this article (either on this site or another) there was a link to a protest group in which mothers were posting breastfeeding pictures. (Again: WHY???) If you see that link, don't make the mistake of visiting that group.  |
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2/9/12 8:49 am
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Paige Hamby |
Dave, out of curiosity, why is it considered "wrong" to do it publicly?
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Acts-celerater
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2/9/12 8:49 am
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Paige Hamby |
I find it very, very fascinating that so many men - who have and never will understand or fully be able to appreciate the beauty and challenges of nursing - have such strong opinions on this subject
I will also note that until you have been in a public setting with a screaming, hungry baby and you know what it feels like to have a hundred heads turn around to look at you and your screaming baby and you know you alone hold the golden ticket to getting your baby to quiet down instantly (especially with other young children in tow), you probably shouldn't judge the reasons some of us women are so quick to whip out a boob in public 
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2/9/12 8:54 am
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Brandon Bowers |
My wife would just pump before she went out, and take a spare bottle of breast milk with her..
Worked fine.
Problem solved.
You're welcome.
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2/9/12 8:56 am
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Dave Dorsey |
We need to define what "doing it publically" is. I don't think there's anything wrong with very modestly breastfeeding so long as everything is covered throughout the entire process, assuming private facilities aren't available. But with that said, I would think anyone with a sense of discretion would realize it should be as private as possible. It's unfortunate that there are facilities in which clean, welcoming nursing rooms aren't available. In that instance I would think a seat in a corner of a store would still be preferable to a bench in the middle of a main aisle.
You said: "I rarely ever nurse in public and if I do, it is extremely concealed." Unless I'm hearing you incorrectly, this seems to reflect the basic sense of discretion I'm referring to above.
I also think you nailed it when you said: "I also don't think it's a fad. I think young moms are proud to breastfeed their babies because in this day and age, it's pushed down our throats to give them formula." For many a lack of discretion or concealment seems to be driven more by pride than anything else. To me, a mother nursing on a bench in the middle of an aisle is most likely saying, "What are you going to do about it?" to everyone who passes by. Mothers posting breastfeeding photos on Facebook know it's provocative and may offend. They are saying, "What are you going to do about it?" I am generalizing, for sure, but that certainly seems to reflect the attitude commonly expressed regarding breastfeeding. |
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Posts: 13654
2/9/12 8:57 am
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Dave Dorsey |
| Brandon Bowers wrote: | My wife would just pump before she went out, and take a spare bottle of breast milk with her..
Worked fine.
Problem solved.
You're welcome. |
Yeah, that's the way Jessica is planning to address this as well. Seems like an obvious approach. |
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Posts: 13654
2/9/12 8:59 am
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| but straight from the tap??? |
InspiredHillbilly |
| Paige Hamby wrote: | I find it very, very fascinating that so many men - who have and never will understand or fully be able to appreciate the beauty and challenges of nursing - have such strong opinions on this subject
I will also note that until you have been in a public setting with a screaming, hungry baby and you know what it feels like to have a hundred heads turn around to look at you and your screaming baby and you know you alone hold the golden ticket to getting your baby to quiet down instantly (especially with other young children in tow), you probably shouldn't judge the reasons some of us women are so quick to whip out a boob in public |
Paige, I seriously do have a question about this... since I'm a man. I work with ladies here, who use our lactation room and pump breast milk out for their baby to use while they are separated. I'm assuming it must be refrigerated, because I see them carrying it home in igloo bags.
So, why can't a mom, just asking... pump some out for when they are going to be in public places, have it in the igloo bag, and give the child a bottle? I'm probably missing something, maybe heating it up or something... but I'm just asking. Does the baby have to get it straight from the tap?
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Rev. C. Todd Robbins
Evangelist - Emmanuel Churches of Christ
The Greatest Risk... is the Risk of Regret... |
Golf Cart Mafia Associate
Posts: 2120
2/9/12 9:01 am
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Paige Hamby |
| Brandon Bowers wrote: | My wife would just pump before she went out, and take a spare bottle of breast milk with her..
Worked fine.
Problem solved.
You're welcome. |
90% of the time, that is what I do. I have a good 30 bags left stored up from our time in the NICU But it doesn't always work out that way. Sometimes he needs to nurse to settle him to fall asleep and he doesn't want the bottle. I also find it a waste of time to pump when I can nurse him. With 3 little ones at home, I don't have time to waste on pumping when I am at home. And as it works out, he absolutely refuses to take a bottle from me when he knows he can get it for real
Like I said, I rarely nurse in public. Beautiful as I find it to be, I am aware that it makes others uncomfortable (this is more about me than them) and by baby #3 I've got the feeding schedule down well enough to know exactly how much time I have when I leave the house to when he'll need to eat again and I've nursed in the drivers seat of a parking lot many a time
But I STILL don't think anyone (espeically a man) has a right to judge a woman for nursing in public. Women who flaunt it and whip out a boob without a covering just to throw their breastfeeding hippie power around? I have a problem with that too. But for those of us who do it modestly because our baby needs to be fed and we happen to be in public and I don't want to do it on a toilet seat or in my freezing cold car, don't judge.
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2/9/12 9:02 am
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Dave Dorsey |
| Paige Hamby wrote: | | But I STILL don't think anyone (espeically a man) has a right to judge a woman for nursing in public. Women who flaunt it and whip out a boob without a covering just to throw their breastfeeding hippie power around? I have a problem with that too. But for those of us who do it modestly because our baby needs to be fed and we happen to be in public and I don't want to do it on a toilet seat or in my freezing cold car, don't judge. |
Then you and I, at least, are in agreement here. |
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Posts: 13654
2/9/12 9:03 am
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| Re: but straight from the tap??? |
Paige Hamby |
| InspiredHillbilly wrote: | | Paige Hamby wrote: | I find it very, very fascinating that so many men - who have and never will understand or fully be able to appreciate the beauty and challenges of nursing - have such strong opinions on this subject
I will also note that until you have been in a public setting with a screaming, hungry baby and you know what it feels like to have a hundred heads turn around to look at you and your screaming baby and you know you alone hold the golden ticket to getting your baby to quiet down instantly (especially with other young children in tow), you probably shouldn't judge the reasons some of us women are so quick to whip out a boob in public |
Paige, I seriously do have a question about this... since I'm a man. I work with ladies here, who use our lactation room and pump breast milk out for their baby to use while they are separated. I'm assuming it must be refrigerated, because I see them carrying it home in igloo bags.
So, why can't a mom, just asking... pump some out for when they are going to be in public places, have it in the igloo bag, and give the child a bottle? I'm probably missing something, maybe heating it up or something... but I'm just asking. Does the baby have to get it straight from the tap? |
It seems like the obvious thing to do, but it is met with challenges. I pump while I'm at work for the days I am not home with the baby. It is not always comfortable, it requires an annoying amount of cleaning, and sometimes it hurts to pump. I hate doing it - it's inconvenient to me when I can easily let the baby nurse which doesn't feel uncomfortable at all. And I don't have to clean a pump afterwards.
When I am at home, the very last thing I want to be doing is pumping for above said reasons. Here are the other reasons it's not the most convenient option:
1) Pump has to be cleaned/sterilized WELL when finished.
2) When you are out, fresh milk that has been refrigerated is only good for an hour or so. If you keep it in an igloo with an ice pack, it's good a little longer. But it has to be warmed or a baby won't take it. So when you are sitting in a restaurant or running errands, where are you supposed to plug your bottle warmer into for the 5 minutes it takes to heat it? And once it's warmed, it has to be dumped if baby doesn't drink it. My son won't take a bottle from me because he knows I have the good stuff
3) If I pump earlier on and I'm out running errands, my milk has built back up during that time. If I'm out for several hours without nursing or pumping and I keep giving the baby pumped milk, it's messing up my milk supply schedule. Skip feeding like that too many times at the beginning and it WILL mess up your milk supply.
4) There is something called a "let down" reflex when you are ready to feed and your milk fills back up. When you are out with your baby, your body naturally responds to that. If you are constantly giving the baby a bottle instead of feeding naturally when you "let down", it again messes up your milk supply.
Look, I'm all for pumping and feeding in a bottle - that's usually what I do. But the fact is, nursing is WAY more convenient on many levels. If a woman can conveniently nurse on demand and is comfortable with it, that's usually what she will (and should) do. If your baby will take a bottle of pumped milk, that's great too. But it's a lot of extra work to constantly have milk on demand and then end up wasting extra milk that took a while to pump.
This is coming from experience of now nursing my 3rd baby in the past 4 years, so take it as you'd like I'm more than happy to educate because I think there are far too many misconceptions and misunderstandings about breastfeeding which is why so many opt out and use formula instead.
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2/9/12 9:12 am
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Paige Hamby |
5) (forgot this one) BONDING!! There is controversy surrounding this (honestly, I think it's so parents who opt to formula feed don't feel guilty about it) but there is a HUGE difference in bonding with a bottle and bonding through nursing. I will take the breastfeeding bonding as often as possible over giving a bottle. I'm away from him 3 days a week as it is, so I prefer the bonding of nursing over giving a bottle.
Ok, I think I'm done defending for now. I have work to do
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2/9/12 9:17 am
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InspiredHillbilly |
I appreciate the feedback... and the overly informative info,LOL.
I just called my mom, and had one of the most embarrassing conversations I've ever had. LOL. I know my mom is extremely modest, and when I was a baby, we attended a hardshell Baptist Church, no shorts, no jewelry, no make up, no short sleeves on men, etc. So I asked her, since I knew she nursed, how she handled Sundays, because we were in church 3 hours on Sunday morning and another 3 on Sunday nights. This was 39 years ago..... some churches still had outhouses, and no bathrooms.
She said that there wasn't a nursery or cry room. She tried to make sure we were fed good before service, but that's just not possible for that long of services. So she, and the other nursing mothers, found a Sunday School room where the door would lock, and then nursed there.
I asked about running errands and being out around town. She answered, oh that wasn't an issue for women of my day. We didn't work, we stayed home, and if there were errands to be run your dad ran them. I stayed home, and kept you kids home, except for church.
So, maybe it's more of an issue now because so many women are so mobile and always on the run as opposed to a few decades ago?
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Rev. C. Todd Robbins
Evangelist - Emmanuel Churches of Christ
The Greatest Risk... is the Risk of Regret... |
Golf Cart Mafia Associate
Posts: 2120
2/9/12 9:20 am
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Quiet Wyatt |
| My wife found pumping very uncomfortable, even painful. I still don't get why so many find it offensive if both baby and breast are covered modestly. |
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2/9/12 9:23 am
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