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Younger Minister Looking for Advice
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Post Younger Minister Looking for Advice RevTrev92
I’ve been credentialed in the Church of God since 2013 and I’ve been a part of this denomination all my life. Actually going back five generations. I was 21 when I received my Exhorter’s certificate. I served full-time for six years on staff at a larger church (my childhood church) and eventually worked my way up to ordained bishop. I thought everything was going well in my life ministerially. Our church went through a pastoral change and not long after their arrival ministry leaders either began leaving or were dismissed. I unfortunately was the first. No forewarning, other than some harsh words before I left, just pack your office and go. We had just welcomed our first child into the world two weeks prior to this. My wife and I were confused and hurt. Four years later we are still trying to “get over” the hurt.

There is much more to this story I’ve not mentioned. I know disappointments are part of ministry and our walk in serving Jesus. I’ve contemplated leaving the C.O.G. since that day, but in my heart I really want to stay. I wanted to ask for sage advice from those of you who have served in ministry. How do you get over the hurt? Sometimes it’s not as easy as “giving it to the Lord”. What has been your experience?
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6/29/22 10:59 am


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Post Quiet Wyatt
I would talk to my state overseer and see if there might be some ministerial openings in my state. Also wouldn’t be a bad idea to consider moving to another state if there are openings there. Another possibility to consider would be to plant a church in an area you feel called to. Sorry you have been mistreated. It unfortunately happens, but not every pastor or leader is like that. [Insert Acts Pun Here]
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6/29/22 5:25 pm


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Post Da Sheik
If you serve in ministry long enough, it is inevitable that you will be hurt by someone. One of the greatest examples is King David. Before he ascended the throne, he was anointed to be Israel’s king. He was Saul’s bravest warrior and most valuable asset. But Saul could only see him as a threat. I encourage you to study the early part of David’s life before he finally takes his rightful place as king.

I think it will be a worthwhile endeavor for you. Also, study the Psalms of David from his time on the run from Saul. You will see that he prayed and worshipped his way out of depression, fear, and despair. During those times of exile, David learned to depend completely on God. God removed all the props from David so that he learned to stand on his own. There is always a tendency to lean on the arm of flesh. So many of our ministers are that way. They are always looking to curry favor with an overseer.

Sometimes God allows us to suffer at the hands of religious people. David handled it well. Jesus suffered at the hands of religious people. Don’t lose heart young man! God knows how to take that which the enemy intends for evil, and work it out for your good !
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6/30/22 11:01 am


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Post FLRon
RT92,
Let me begin by saying how sorry I am that you have been placed in the position you find yourself in by this new, insensitive regime. The fact that any “pastor” would dismiss someone with a new child without warning shows a complete lack of compassion and grace.

Hopefully after these long four years you realize that, despite the continuing hurt, what happened to you and your family was for the best. Or looking at it another way, if you had still been there for these four years, would you have been exposed to things that would have made you wish you weren’t there? I dare say you would have.

I completely understand the hurt you are experiencing as I struggled with it for much, much longer than you currently have. I would simply say to you that if you will stay the course, meaning stay in the word, stay on your knees, and keep God 1st in your life, the hurt will dissipate in time. Let what happened to you serve as a reminder how NOT to treat people when you are placed in a position of authority.

Lastly, so far as staying in the COG, that of course is a decision that only you can make with the Lord’s guidance. Being in the COG as long as you have been, it can be difficult to understand that the Church functions just as it was intended to outside of the COG. Meaning, don’t allow denominational loyalty to blind you to the awesome opportunities that exist outside of Cleveland Tn.

I pray that you and your family will find peace as you seek the Lord’s direction for your ministry. Always remember that while man can close the door in a particular church, it is God who “openeth, and no man shutteth; and shutteth, and no man openeth”. Rev 3:7
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6/30/22 2:17 pm


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Post Carolyn Smith
A family member of mine has been walking through this over the last year. He had a couple of folks turn against him in his church, people that he had tried to help by putting them into (volunteer) positions in the church. He felt he could not be effective there anymore and decided to step down as the pastor. He was very hurt and doesn't want to be in the ministry any longer. He preached a few weeks ago for the first time in almost a year and did a great job but he's still got a lot of questions.

My husband & I were in children's ministry for many years and had our share of hurts, as well. There was the minister who kept about half of the largest offering we ever raised for his church instead of giving it to us. (He later became a state overseer.) And the minister that offered our job to another couple while we were still there. There were many other things that happened before we finally left at the end of a year.

For a while we told our story to other ministers, who listened and commiserated. We were treated unfairly and it hurt. Finally someone suggested to me it was time to stop talking about it because all it did was rip the bandage off the wound and tear it open again.

It took me a long time to work through the many layers of hurt but God was faithful to reveal them to me when I was ready to move forward. God finally showed me this man was His child and even though what he had done was wrong, God desired to give him mercy, because He loved him. There were steps along the way that had to happen but I was finally able to release him and forgive. It was a choice I had to make (sometimes daily), but if I wanted God's mercy & forgiveness, I had to extend it as well. The final step was that God led me to look at his picture daily for 30 days and speak blessings and pray for him. It didn't mean much at first but my heart was different after those 30 days.

Ask God to show you what to do so that you can let this go and move on. Don't give up the ministry. Go to your state overseer and/or a minister you trust and share your story with him and get their wisdom. It's time for you to move forward and put this in the past. God isn't done with you. Get in a church where you can be fed and ministered to until God opens the right door for you. Blessings on you...don't give up!
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7/2/22 10:00 pm


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Post sheepdogandy
Centralized government, ya gotta love it!

Take the "School of Christ" as taught by B. H. Clendennen.

Then you will be enabled to "go anywhere" and succeed.

Worked for me. Very Happy
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7/6/22 9:54 am


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Post ... Aaron Scott
...

Last edited by Aaron Scott on 8/29/22 3:26 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Post Get Out! FG Minister
The COG is very provincial to say the least. And truthfully, we don't need denominations any longer. At one time they were a great resource, but not any longer. There are plenty of non-denominational missionaries to support, non-denominational youth camps, and non-denominational publishing houses. You can get everything you need outside the COG and won't have to send 10% to headquarters. You can succeed with your local vision with the people you pastor and make a great impact for the Kingdom.

People in a denomination will tell you how you need to be accountable to someone. I am - to the elders and trustees of my congregation. They will tell you what a "brotherhood" there is in the COG. There isn't one. The brotherhood is for active pastors who see each other periodically. I know of several pastors who became ill and had to stop pastoring in the COG. In each situation, the overseer called each one of them once, and no other member of the "brotherhood" ever reached out to see how they were doing. Out of sight, out of mind.

I left the COG 20 years ago and it was the best decision I could have ever made. I understand, the non-denominational route is not for everyone, but why not give it a try. Our church quadrupled in size from 100 to 400 attendees and income from $7000 per month to $52,000 per month. And we are debt free. I just thought you should hear a success story from a non-denominational, non-COG perspective. But you should do what God leads you to do. Blessings to you!
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8/20/22 2:50 pm


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Post sheepdogandy
Ditto!

Check out our web site. Very Happy
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8/23/22 1:57 pm


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Post RE: Advice revuriah
I feel you, brother. I haven't pastored in 8 years. My last pastorate, it was decided (and rightly so) that the church really needed to be closed down. It had struggled for years, and we were a last ditch effort to revive it. I was hurt by the circumstance, but that wasn't the problem. I felt left behind and ditched by both people and circumstances (I had close friends that were there for us, both preacher and "lay leaders," and I am forever grateful for them). I made some real mistakes; I understand why some were not fond of me. But I was honest and tried my level best to be faithful. For years afterward I was dead set against trying to pastor again. I'm at a place where I'd like to, but my wife is not there yet.

Advice: forgive. I'm sure you have, but the enemy likes to dig around and pull the hurt, and the negative feelings towards those who perpetuated that hurt to the surface. Pray for the pastor that hurt you, and I mean seriously pray for him. Bless his ministry. Honor him, even if you don't feel he is worthy of it. Perhaps God will convict him, but on your end, you will find it is hard to hold hurt against someone you truly pray for.

Feed yourself. Do not neglect your own devotion, prayer, study, and preparation. Write sermons. Start a podcast. Post short devos on TikTok and YT.

Find a place to serve if you haven't already, whether that is greeting new visitors or helping direct traffic in the parking lot. Lead a small group. Teach a class.

This is some of the stuff I've been doing for the past 6 years that I've been ready to get back (no podcast but definitely some devo stuff).

Follow some of our ABs on FB. I don't know where you are, but there are ministry needs up north and out west.

You can message me here if you'd like to talk. God bless.
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9/16/22 5:52 pm


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Post just checking in roughridercog
to the original poster

How are you doing? Have you had any doors or avenues of ministry open to you?
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10/25/22 7:34 pm


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Post JLarry
Don't fault the COG it could happen anywhere.

Trust me I have had my share of hurts. A few from Admins but mostly from members.

I understand this was not an AB, but.
Most AB's I have worked with were great men of God.

A couple were simply liars.

Good ones.

Paul Hinson
Bud Braddock
Dr. Robert Fisher
Carl Hart
Gary Lewis

This does not mean the rest were liars, just pointing out the best.

I am Christian enough not to list the liar.
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11/30/22 6:39 pm


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Post The most important answer is to another question Dan Eason
What is God calling you to do?

Until you "know that you know" the answer to that question, the rest is peripheral.
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12/8/22 3:44 pm


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Post Update from Original Poster RevTrev92
I wanted to post an update, so I don't leave this discussion open-ended. In 2018, when this event happened, I SERIOUSLY considered leaving the Church of God altogether. I even visited various Methodist and Episcopal churches in the area to find a new church home outside of the Pentecostal realm. The larger Episcopal church in our town was pastored by a wonderful conservative priest. She (an older lady) knew that I was an ordained bishop in the Church of God and never tried to swing me over to the Anglican side. She did, however, counsel me and helped me walk through the bitterness I had at the time, for which I am grateful.

Regarding where I am now. I have been serving alongside my father-in-law who is a Church of God pastor and District Overseer, where I have been preaching and ministering. My feelings towards the Church of God ebb and flow at times, but I really believe it is God's will that I stay in our church and begin to reconcile, heal, forgive, and restore as much as the Lord will help me to do so. I'm not going to say it's easy to spiritually take my hands off the offending brother's neck. But I know in my heart, that's what I need to do, and give it over to God. I intend to "dip my toes back in the water" by attending our state and international events again like I have in the past. By giving it to God, allowing the Lord to heal, I know that this whole situation can be put behind me.

I want to thank each of you sincerely for your kind words, encouragement, and sound advice. I'm thankful for this family we have called the Church of God. Sometimes we can be dysfunctional like any other family. Yet God has moved powerfully in our church in the past and will in the future. Blessing to you all!
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6/14/23 9:04 am


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Post It's men, not the Church of God, that does us wrong Aaron Scott
If Donald Trump punched you in the mouth, you wouldn't be upset at the United States...nor would you move to another country.

There are good and bad people EVERYWHERE. This includes ever denomination...and every single independent church, also.

You can get hurt in a thousand different ways. But the Head of the Church, Jesus Himself, is faithful.

The COG is a great organization, but, yeah, sometime a rotten person can make you sour on the entire denomination.
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6/14/23 10:18 am


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Post Explain please... 4thgeneration
sheepdogandy wrote:
Centralized government, ya gotta love it!

Take the "School of Christ" as taught by B. H. Clendennen.

Then you will be enabled to "go anywhere" and succeed.

Worked for me. Very Happy


I would love to hear your explanation for how one pastor firing a staff member has anything to do with centralized government. Or is that just your pat answer to everything you don't agree with in the COG? Because honestly, that is what it sounds like.
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6/14/23 3:45 pm


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Post Nature Boy Florida
RevTrev92,
What can the COG do for you - that another option can't?

Not sure Episcopal is the first place I would look if I was thinking about leaving - but got to keep your eyes open to where God needs you.
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6/15/23 6:16 am


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Post Ecumenical RevTrev92
Well. I've always been one for crossing denominational lines, trying to understand their points of view while being firm in mine. We are all (hopefully) striving to serve the same Lord. Hurt will make you do crazy things. There is a good support system inside the Church of God. However, it exists outside of the Church of God as well. Non-COG ministers have spoken some powerful words into my life as well, it can be refreshing sometimes to get a "third-party" point of view on things.
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6/15/23 9:36 am


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Post sheepdogandy
"one pastor firing a staff member"

Says it all.

In a Congregationally governed body he would have had opportunity to address the membership.

We like to call it "due process".

I doubt they would have kicked him out under the circumstances.
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6/15/23 11:17 am


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Post Quiet Wyatt
In many nondenominational churches, the pastor pretty much rules the roost and can fire whomever whenever. [Insert Acts Pun Here]
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6/15/23 12:11 pm


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