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How would you handle it?

 
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Post How would you handle it? Cojak
I have a cousin who is gay. I have no problem with talking with him and discussing his life style. He KNOWS my stand and we get along well.

HOWEVER, there is a new wrinkle in our family. WE have Great Grands in Utah, California and Oregon. Love 'em all of course. Our oldest Great Grand Daughter, I just learned today, has decided she should be a boy and is now identifying as a boy with a boys name.
What religious back ground she has is loosely LDS and summers attended the COG. I am hoping and praying she is just being 'cute' since it is something different and new.

Due to our age and distance, WE may never see her again, but I do correspond with her monthly. My wife and I in no way want to alienate her nor especially her dad, he is the oldest Grand and special to me. Like many children today the Great Grand is a product of unmarried parents, who are now not living together.
I am at a loss at how to handle it.
ANY ADVICE WILL BE APPRECIATED.......
One more thing. as of now this info comes from the girls grandmother . I am waiting to hear from my grandson, the dad.
I just want something solid to give him, because I am sure he is HURTING, if this is true.
Thanks.
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11/13/21 9:03 pm


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Post Cojak.... Aaron Scott
There are really only a couple of things you CAN do....

1) You can just love them. And I am sure that you do.

2) You can pray for them.

I need not tell you that no one has every had the gay criticized out of them, beat out of them, hurt out of them, or embarrassed out of them. If anything, this just adds to the hurt and/or fear that that child may already be feeling.

Now, if the child is young enough, actions that are contrary to our gender norms can perhaps be discouraged. It's like this: A little boy shouldn't be given the choice of playing cowboys...or playing dolls (unless it's G.I. Joe!). So often, I think that such parents believe their son IS a girl (or vice versa) that the child can come to accept that that view.

But assuming the child is older, the ONLY thing that will make a difference is Jesus. So we love them...and we pray for them.

At least that's how I see it.
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11/15/21 7:14 pm


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Post FLRon
Cojack, while I too would be devastated by receiving such news, the truth is it’s not ours to handle. That assignment belongs to the Lord. Our responsibility in such matters includes taking it to the Lord and leaving it with Him. Nothing more, nothing less.
These things grieve us tremendously but are beyond our capabilities to change. Just as we cannot make a drunk sober or a drug addict clean, there are situations in life that require us to do what we know to do, which is give it to God, then trust Him to do what only He can do.
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11/16/21 11:15 am


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Post Cojak
Thanks. Since I cannot talk on the phone we have a regular snail mail contact coming up the first of the month. i want to somehow express that she is a creation of God, He does things beautifully and mistakes are not His.

I do appreciate you taking time to comment. I am thinking along the lines both or you have commented. I am trying to figure something that a teen ager would relate to. She just turned 13 a few months ago. She lives with her mom. Son and Grandson are floored, so far neither have been nasty with her but love her and trying to figure this out.
I hope to hear more. Thanks again.
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11/16/21 11:58 pm


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Post My opinion? roughridercog
Let her know she is loved by both you and the Lord. But I would also call her by her feminine name and never refer to her in the masculine pronoun. Loving her does not mean you accept and agree with her. She needs to understand that.
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11/19/21 1:51 pm


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Post Re: My opinion? Cojak
roughridercog wrote:
Let her know she is loved by both you and the Lord. But I would also call her by her feminine name and never refer to her in the masculine pronoun. Loving her does not mean you accept and agree with her. She needs to understand that.

Thanks RR I do appreciate the advice and suggestion. Cool
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11/19/21 6:40 pm


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Post Bro Bob
Cojak, I saw this post not long after you put it up. I was hoping there were some good answers coming from others as I did not have any. All of the replies are good and I agree with. But there is something of an emotion I can't get my mind around.

Usually someone who has a far different take on something than I do, I can at least try to see things from their view. This transgender thing I can't get my head around. But not only can I not see the world through this child's eyes, I can't imagine the thoughts and worries that must be in your head when you lay down at night.

God the Father loves her more than you do. But her choices were always hers. He accepts that. And He wants the best life possible for her. I hope He sends someone into her life that fixes her focus.

You have been such a warm spirit on this board. Kindness exudes from you. Just know that in Northeast Alabama there's a brother who finds it easy to ask for God's peace for you.
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11/26/21 8:07 pm


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Post Cojak
Bro Bob wrote:
Cojak, .... But not only can I not see the world through this child's eyes, I can't imagine the thoughts and worries that must be in your head when you lay down at night.

God the Father loves her more than you do. But her choices were always hers. He accepts that. And He wants the best life possible for her. I hope He sends someone into her life that fixes her focus.

.......

I am rolling all these thoughts around. i know this site is not what it used to be, BUT i have learned a lot. i have also learned that in a world gone awry there are still those with common sense.
One of our biggest problems in this present world is exposure. Ideas fed to teens and younger that are giant size, when they are not capable or deciding if they like Brussels sprouts or not. A time when they would eat ice cream at every meal if they were allowed to decide.
Anyway you, and many here on Acts have BLESSED me, Thanks, Stay warm up that way! Cool
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11/26/21 9:36 pm


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Post JLarry
Brother I hear your heart.

My son's second wife had two children when they married. Her son was a great kid. Different but great. I loved being with him. My son and his Mom divorced when he was a teen ager. After the divorce his mom did not want the children to have nothing to do with our son's family. When I see him again I will only show love.

When I saw your post I thought for a bit and suddenly heard a song in my mind.

"I was sinking deep in sin, far from the peaceful shore,
Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more,
But the Master of the sea heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me, now safe am I."

We are never so far away that Holy Spirit can find us.
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Post Cojak
JLarry wrote:
Brother I hear your heart.

My son's second wife had two children when they married. Her son was a great kid. Different but great. I loved being with him. My son and his Mom divorced when he was a teen ager. After the divorce his mom did not want the children to have nothing to do with our son's family. When I see him again I will only show love.

When I saw your post I thought for a bit and suddenly heard a song in my mind.

"I was sinking deep in sin, far from the peaceful shore,
Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more,
But the Master of the sea heard my despairing cry,
From the waters lifted me, now safe am I."

We are never so far away that Holy Spirit can find us.

Don't you just love it when inspired words touch your soul. Thanks, this is goiong over and over in my mind. I will sing and whistle this all day. THANKS my friend. Hope you are doing well prayers your way also.
Smile
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