Actscelerate.com Forum Index Actscelerate.com
Open Any Time -- Day or Night
 
 FAQFAQ   SearchSearch   MemberlistMemberlist   UsergroupsUsergroups   RegisterRegister 
 ProfileProfile   Log in to check your private messagesLog in to check your private messages   Log inLog in 
r/Actscelerate

I feel like a complete failure

 
   Actscelerate.com Forum Index -> Acts-Celerate Post new topic   Reply to topic
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Message Author
Post I feel like a complete failure roughridercog
My son is visiting. He went with us to church last Sunday and said, "I hate church. I don't want anything to do with it. I can read my Bible and pray in private if I want to."

I knew better than to say anything or be confrontational at that point. With tears ib my eyes I silently prayed for the Holy Spirit to work on him. He willl be withnus 2 more Sundays before leaving for a new command in Japan for 3 years. I asked him to go with us for the last 2 Sundays we will be together for a while.
He refuses.
I type this with tears in my eyes. What kind of pastor must I have been if I couldn't instill in my own son a love for God and His.house.

Sorry for.venting but I cant talk without weeping.
_________________
Doctor of Bovinamodulation


Last edited by roughridercog on 6/27/21 11:51 am; edited 3 times in total
Acts Mod
Posts: 25306
6/10/21 2:25 pm


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Post Cojak
All I can say is we are all 'individuals', we all have needs and have opinions. My dad was a pastor, one of the best, maybe THE BEST. I was a young military man in a much different era. When I was your sons age, and if it was this day and time I just might have said some of the same words.

But as you know back in the 50-60s young men did not dare 'SAY how they felt', if it was against the grain. What I am saying is when I was exposed to the NEW World, what we say is the Real world, not the parsonage, I had the exact same feelings.

No you are not a failure, old slew-foot would like you to think so. I admired your son as you exposed us to his adventures into the military. I have no doubt, that like me he was 'blessed to have a dad who was real and also a pastor.
Hang in there my friend and NEVER doubt your GOOD influence in your son's over all life.

Remember the dude is still a young man!
Love you and believe it or not, I can associate with your feelings.
God and Life is Good. Smile
_________________
Some facts but mostly just my opinion!
jacsher@aol.com
http://shipslog-jack.blogspot.com/
01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011
Posts: 24269
6/10/21 3:18 pm


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Post Carolyn Smith
Rough, my friend, you are not a failure. And it sounds to me like your son does love the Lord...he just doesn't like the hypocrisy (or what he feels is hypocrisy) in the church.

My oldest son has turned away from everything we taught him & accepted the liberal view of thinking...says he's not sure he believes in God anymore *but spends a lot of time on Facebook saying how it's not true and now lame Christians are.* This came after attending a couple of liberal arts colleges and also coincided with his then-girlfriend moving in with him.

As a parent, it's hard to take, but I felt like God told me not to argue with him. Just keep loving him, and that's what I've attempted to do.

My younger son cut off all communication with us several years ago, so I have been through the whole "I feel like a failure" thing. It's a lie the enemy tries to feed me. God told me once, "I am bigger than all your mistakes!"

You've done your best to instill a love/respect for God and His people. Don't take a rejection of church as rejection of you or even God. Maybe you can have a conversation with your son and ask him what he thinks is hypocritical about the church. Encourage him to be honest with you.

I believe your son (and mine) will eventually come back to their roots and what they know to be true deep in their hearts. Every person has to find that place with God for himself. Trust what you've planted in your son to yield fruit in due season.

This younger generation is not afraid to call out hypocrisy as they see it...which ultimately is a good thing. If your son has respect for God and country, you've done a pretty awesome job. You are not a failure. Keep listening, Dad.
_________________
"More of Him...less of me."
http://twitter.com/camiracle77
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=691241499&ref=name
Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology
Posts: 5903
6/10/21 9:11 pm


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Post UncleJD
It sounds like he is wounded somehow (probably by church folk). Pray for his wound. Your steadfastness will be the best asset you have with him for this "season". Be sure we're all praying for this situation. Golf Cart Mafia Consigliere
Posts: 3137
6/11/21 8:35 am


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Post Maybe this will help you Rough MikeBarnes
God is/was the MOST perfect Father, period.

He has a Son who was obedient unto death, but the rest of His children rebelled against Him and His teachings. It's called free will. All His children saw His Works and heard His Word and rejected Him.

Are you better than God? Right, just pray for your son, do not beat yourself up.
Member
Posts: 39
6/11/21 2:36 pm


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Post Quiet Wyatt
Our 13-year-old son said to us recently that he doesn’t believe in God anymore, doesn’t want to go to church, and just wants to do what he wants without worrying about what God thinks. He says he would believe if God did a miracle for him, but Jesus said a wicked generation seeketh after a sign. I can’t bear the thought of him burning forever in the Lake of Fire some day, but that is exactly where he is headed unless he repents. I have said church attendance is not optional for him so long as he lives in our house. I don’t know how to reach him, but I know God does. [Insert Acts Pun Here]
Posts: 12784
6/11/21 5:01 pm


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Post Bro Bob
Rough, I want you to know this saddens me to the core. And I completely understand it making you feel like a failure. But as one of the others noted, free will is a fundamental part of our design.

I don't have any words of wisdom or even consolation for you. I wish I did.

I hope your son realizes how that like Paul, you value his eternal soul even more than your own.

If he does care about God's thoughts enough to talk to Him and study His written word, then surely he understands that believers grouping themselves for encouragement and even admonishment is a direct order.

"Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching."

I have no doubt I will include this situation in my prayers for some time to come.

You are a good man, a good witness of your savior, and what God living inside a man looks like. He may not acknowledge that today, but he cannot deny it deep inside.

BB
Golf Cart Mafia Underboss
Posts: 3945
6/11/21 10:40 pm


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Post Roughrider...preacher's kids Aaron Scott
I have a dear, beloved son that I have never once seen weeping in the altars. He is saved, and he is only 17, but by that age, I had been praying in the altars for years.

All I know is to cling to the promise that God's Word will not return void....

PKs often have a front row seat to the inner workings of a church. When they see Christians do hurtful, hateful things--especially toward their parents--it is indeed difficult to maintain a pristine view of the church. It was my blessed fortune that my mother and father were able to conceal hard time financially, hard times in church matters, etc., from me until I was a grown man. There were things that were absolutely SHOCKING that I only found out about maybe 20 years after it happened--and NOT from my parents, but from someone else in a conversation.

In today's world, there is so much TV, internet, and connectedness that it's easy to see the lights of brighter towns, the flaws and foibles of men, even church gossip posted online.

YOU HAVE NOT FAILED! Think of it this way: If a family had a godly son who was going to church, etc., they could rightfully be happy...but will that be the same 25 years from now? We don't know. We walk by faith. And so your son KNOWS about Jesus, even though he has likely been bombarded with secular thought and behavior, but sooner or later...it will be Jesus that he cries out to, I believe.

Some of the best men of God I know--and I mean BEST--have multiple children that are walking at a distance from God--some have all but blatantly rejected the church and Jesus. You're not alone.

But when hard times come--and they will come--at some point their old training will come out: Call on Jesus and be saved.

I would add one more thought: IF your son is reading his Bible and praying, but not going to church, that is a whole lot better than not even doing that! He'll be reading along one day, and God will set words afire from the altar of heaven, and things will change!

You keep encouraging him and loving him. Many fathers feel like failures at times--I know I do. But I keep plowing onward, trusting that one day it will all make a difference.
Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology
Posts: 6027
6/15/21 5:49 pm


View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Reply with quote
Post Re: I feel like a complete failure FLRon
roughridercog wrote:
My son is visiting. He went with us to church last Sunday and said, "I hate church. I don't want anything to do with it. I can read my Bible and pray in private if I want to."

I knew better than to say anything or be confrontational at that point. With tears ib my eyes I silently prayed for the Holy Spirit to work on him. He willl be withnus 2 more Sundays before leaving for a new command in Japan for 3 years. I asked him to go with us for the last 2 Sundays we will be together for a while.
He refuses.
I type this with tears in my eyes. What kind of pastor must I have been if I couldn't instill in my own son a love for God and His.house.

Sorry for.venting but I cant talk without weeping.


You are not alone in this, as evidenced by the posts of others who have had to face this same thing. Three of my grown children are walking outside the ark of safety though they were raised in church. One of them is borderline atheist.

What I have had to accept is that I did what I could do and that preachers kids are no different than any other human who has ever lived. They too must make the decision to follow Christ on their own. As much as I long to do so, I cannot lead them to Jesus now. That job belongs to the Holy Spirit.
_________________
“Hell will be filled with people that didn’t cuss, didn’t drink, and may even have been baptized. Why? Because none of those things makes someone a Christian.”
Voddie Baucham
Acts-celerater
Posts: 760
6/28/21 6:18 am


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Post God is in Japan too doyle
"WHERE CAN I FLEE from Your presence? If I ascend to the heavens, You are there. If I make my bed in the depths You are there. If I settle on the far side of the sea, (*In Japan) EVEN THERE Your hand will guide me, Your right hand will hold me fast." ( Psalm 139:7-10 ) *Emphasis mine
_________________
The largest room in the world is the room for improvement.
Acts-celerate Owner
Posts: 6957
7/1/21 2:47 am


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Post Jim JLarry
We prayed for our oldest son for about 30 years.

One morning he got up and told his wife he was going to church.

That's been about four years. Now he never misses and is on fire for the Lord.

Keep the faith.

It is probably not what you have done. Satan is trying to get him. Don't let this happen.
_________________
Recorded Sermons @ www.pastorwiley.com

No one who died without Christ is happy about their decision.
Acts Mod
Posts: 3340
7/10/21 6:26 pm


View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Reply with quote
Post Nature Boy Florida
RR,

This one bothered me - a lot.

But the last words you said your son said ("I can read my Bible and pray in private if I want to.") doesn't sound like a rejection of God to me.

My greatest wounds have been inflicted on me by church people. Perhaps your son was also wounded or saw you wounded by church folks...leaving the impression - why would I want to gather together with those clowns?

And perhaps God created such a time as this to keep your son safe...a time where he can read or hear or see the postings of Jentezen Franklin or Kevin Wallace or _____________....who just might be the one to keep him involved with a heart for God.

I'll keep praying for him.

I say this because I had a son of mine - come up to me and say I needed to hear this preacher - he watches his posts everyday - one that he says preaches what needs to be preached - that preacher was Kevin Wallace. He had no idea I knew Kevin from Actscelerate.

You just never know how God will work. Keep the faith.
_________________
Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going today!
Acts-pert Poster
Posts: 16599
7/23/21 6:25 am


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Post georgiapath
I like Keven Wallace, he is the real deal in my opinion. Acts-dicted
Posts: 7578
7/30/21 6:46 pm


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Post Re: I feel like a complete failure diakoneo
roughridercog wrote:
My son is visiting. He went with us to church last Sunday and said, "I hate church. I don't want anything to do with it. I can read my Bible and pray in private if I want to."

I knew better than to say anything or be confrontational at that point. With tears ib my eyes I silently prayed for the Holy Spirit to work on him. He willl be withnus 2 more Sundays before leaving for a new command in Japan for 3 years. I asked him to go with us for the last 2 Sundays we will be together for a while.
He refuses.
I type this with tears in my eyes. What kind of pastor must I have been if I couldn't instill in my own son a love for God and His.house.

Sorry for.venting but I cant talk without weeping.


Brother, I know EXACTLY where you are coming from and have felt and feel the same way!

We home-schooled both of our children for most of their school years and now that they are grown they only go to church on special occasions and only if I call and invite them. They were both saved and baptized at 8 and 10 years old...I baptized both of them. I feel a failure at discipleship most of all. Somehow my daughter now has marxist socialist leanings, also. They are both great adults! They both purchased their own homes and are successful in their jobs and education but it hurts me and deeply in my soul to see them drifting away from the Lord. We pray for them constantly and try as we can to encourage them to go to church!
Golf Cart Mafia Consigliere
Posts: 3382
8/9/21 2:31 pm


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Post diakoneo Aaron Scott
It seems there is NO FORMULA that works across the board. As you pointed out, even those kids that we have done all we can do to shelter from the world...can not turn out exactly as we'd hoped.

One of my childhood friends came from the home of some of the finest church folks I ever knew. But apparently she was so sheltered that when she was not under supervision, she would go hog wild, sleeping with different fellows, etc. (She and her parents are deceased now.)

I've know of people raised in the homes of some of the finest Church of God ministers I've ever known (ministers that made a tremendous impact on me), but their children are not serving God.

All we can do is...our best. And if that's not enough, grace will have to make the difference, because we've done our best.

Unfortunately, what seems to be our best IN THE MOMENT, can often seem like it was not our best in retrospection. I recall something that I heard on "House, M.D." that struck a chord.

Someone had been an addict (if I recall correctly) and had, I suppose, felt they had ruined their life. The person said, "I could have done better. I didn't have to do that." To which House said, "Spoken like a true addict."

Indeed, we all feel like we could have done better, if only we'd have "really tried." But we can only operate in the moment. And that has to be good enough.
Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology
Posts: 6027
8/10/21 2:06 pm


View user's profile Send private message Visit poster's website
Reply with quote
Post Quiet Wyatt
Tragically, the vast majority of God's children have rejected his counsel and discipline as well. Even those who had the supreme benefit of a perfect environment and perfect health and provision from Him rejected his way in the Garden. There's only so much that we can do to influence our children to choose to follow God.

Speaking as a former prodigal myself, I can say that it is incredibly difficult to keep running from God, who pursues us with His love and so graciously pleads with us, drawing us to Himself.
[Insert Acts Pun Here]
Posts: 12784
8/10/21 3:45 pm


View user's profile Send private message
Reply with quote
Display posts from previous:   
Actscelerate.com Forum Index -> Acts-Celerate Post new topic   Reply to topic
All times are GMT - 5 Hours
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum




Acts-celerate Terms of Use | Acts-celerate Policy
Contact the Administrator.


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group :: Spelling by SpellingCow.