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Would OT make a good General Overseer |
c6thplayer1 |
Rate 1 to 10 with 1 being best and 10 being the worst.
My rating would be #1 |
Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 6385 11/4/15 10:25 pm
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Old Time Country Preacher |
If elected to the esteemed position as prelate and presiding bishop of the Church of God, on my very first day in office, I commit to the following 5-Point Approach in my administration:
1. DOCTRINE: Begin the process of extracting/eliminating any and all forms of Woffie teachin, TULIP talk, OSAS stuff, from anything connected with the COG. Its gonna be Wesleyan Holiness an Pentecost right down the line.
2. ETHICS: Requirin at all degrees listed/used among preachers on websites, business cards, church letterheads, published in print, must be from a school what has recognized accreditation.
3. RELEVANCY: Encourage all local churches to change their name to include the word POINTE. In this way, each local church will have a cuttin edge and relevant appeal.
4. EVANGELISM: We gonna get back to the tent meetin circuit, encouraging all aspirin evangelists to buy their own tent an hit the road.
5. GENUINE PENTECOSTAL PREACHING: This settin down preachin stuff, with a little bitty table an a bottle a water, is gotta go. If preachers want Starbucks, hey, they can go after church. An we gonna git rid a these ear piece and lapel microphones. Ever Ordained Bishop will be required to get a hand held Shure Model 56 microphone with a 50 ft cord. The prissy preachin is gonna give way to Pentecostal Preachin. |
Acts-pert Poster Posts: 15570 11/4/15 11:16 pm
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but I can't ... |
Mat |
But I can't use my IPad if I have to hold my mic!
Mat
PS I thought those tables were just skinny pulpits. |
Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1994 11/5/15 8:46 am
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Methocostal |
OT has my vote |
Friendly Face Posts: 496 11/5/15 11:29 am
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Cojak |
10, TEN, TEN
Iffn I can get my papers restored, at's my vote.
I don't like preachers tripping over the mike cord and knocking miss Bessie.s flower arrangement down.
I like them little desks and a sit down preacher, Some times I feel like my grand son who looked up at me wonct and asked, "Why is he running around and yelling at us?"
Only if my papers are restored, and acknowledgement of my life's achievements more than merits my Doctorate, could I give him a #1.
_________________ Some facts but mostly just my opinion!
jacsher@aol.com
http://shipslog-jack.blogspot.com/ |
01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24285 11/5/15 12:06 pm
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Old Time Country Preacher |
Cojak wrote: | 10, TEN, TEN
Iffn I can get my papers restored, at's my vote.
I don't like preachers tripping over the mike cord and knocking miss Bessie.s flower arrangement down.
I like them little desks and a sit down preacher, Some times I feel like my grand son who looked up at me wonct and asked, "Why is he running around and yelling at us?"
Only if my papers are restored, and acknowledgement of my life's achievements more than merits my Doctorate, could I give him a #1.
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I bestow upon thee a honorary doctorate (Doctor of RV Travel). Ya preachin papers is in the mail. Lookin fer at vote Dr. Cojak. |
Acts-pert Poster Posts: 15570 11/5/15 12:47 pm
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bonnie knox |
I ain't votin fer ya till I find out if Mama has give up movin to Mississippi and would settle for movin to tha Holy City. (And then I still might not vote fer ya! I just don't know if I can cotton to havin a overseer what goes bananas over Pink Floyd.) |
[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 11/5/15 1:36 pm
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Old Time Country Preacher |
bonnie knox wrote: | I ain't votin fer ya till I find out if Mama has give up movin to Mississippi and would settle for movin to tha Holy City. (And then I still might not vote fer ya! I just don't know if I can cotton to havin a overseer what goes bananas over Pink Floyd.) |
You can't vote Miss Bonnie, the Soddy Daisy prophet caused most a the fellers to not want the wominfolk settin on the council floor with em. So the majority voted with the prophet. But the ole timer is a egalitarian, so I voted in favor a the gals bein bishops, but the majority prevailed. |
Acts-pert Poster Posts: 15570 11/5/15 2:18 pm
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bonnie knox |
Well, I guess that puts an end to that.
I just wonder if you tellin folks you voted in favor of wimmin bishops is a good idee if you campaignin for overseer an all. |
[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 14803 11/5/15 2:21 pm
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Old Time Country Preacher |
bonnie knox wrote: | Well, I guess that puts an end to that.
I just wonder if you tellin folks you voted in favor of wimmin bishops is a good idee if you campaignin for overseer an all. |
They'll fergit by assembly. Once a few scandals starts bein discussed, hey, the ole timers egalitarian sentiments won't even be on the radar. |
Acts-pert Poster Posts: 15570 11/5/15 2:30 pm
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Cojak |
Old Time Country Preacher wrote: |
I bestow upon thee a honorary doctorate (Doctor of RV Travel). Ya preachin papers is in the mail. Lookin fer at vote Dr. Cojak. |
I feel better already, I am going to git me a bran new note book for my revivals. I B booking some just as soon as I get my papers back. _________________ Some facts but mostly just my opinion!
jacsher@aol.com
http://shipslog-jack.blogspot.com/ |
01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24285 11/5/15 2:44 pm
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