A few days ago, a patient at our hospital in South Atlanta, was only minutes from death. The Director of Critical Care called and asked me to make a visit.
The patient's wife, I'll call her Donna, was on her way to the hospital. Staff had called to tell her that her husband had taken a “turn for the worst.” The Critical Care Director and I met her when she arrived. Several of the nurses were busily adjusting the many machines stacked up to help keep her husband alive.
The patient's wife went to the far side of the bed and stood there quietly weeping. As the nurses finished and left the room, I went to stand near her. “My name is Doyle. I'm one of the Chaplains. May I stay with you
awhile?” I asked. She nodded yes.
Previously, I would have been thinking of something soothing to say; words of hope and help, possibly a Scripture verse. However, we have been receiving Chaplain's in-service training about how important our "non-anxious presence" is when a patient or their family members are experiencing chaos in their life.
There certainly is a time for soothing words and Scripture, but the in-serve about the importance of establishing a "presence" with a patient, is broadening my effectiveness. In this case, I just stood by her side for several minutes. I'm a talker and almost always have a word of hope or Scripture for a patient, so this "presence" thing is somewhat difficult for me. I did radio for years and "dead airspace" was forbidden.
Without me doing or saying anything, in a short time, Donna leaned against me for emotional support. At the time, having me "present” was of more help to her than words would have been. Obviously, we don't want to weird people out by standing around like a bunch of zombies, but wisdom helps us know when to talk and when to just be "present."
Most of my time is spent in the ER and any "presence" that is established with a patient, has to be done rather quickly. Plus, most of them are in pain. Just standing there will work for a few but most need some calming words or prayer.
Several days later, I saw Donna in the cafeteria. “Chaplain,” she exclaimed. “My husband is doing much better. Thank you for all you did to help me the other day.” The only thing I had done was to be "present" there with her. I shared it was good news to learn that her husband had improved.
Later, a familiar and inspiring Scripture became more alive to me with an expanded understanding:
Psalm 46:1: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore, we will not fear...” If God talked every time He was present, we would never hear the end of it (smile).
Doyle
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10/12/15 5:03 pm
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If God spoke every time He was present with us, we would never hear the end of it.
