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Darrell Garrett

Why the hostility?

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5329 **6/5/19 9:05 am**

Since choosing to surrender my COG credentials to work at an independent church, I've been treated with hostility and/or given the cold shoulder by leaders in the COG. I've had other pastors tell me that less than flattering things have been said about myself and 5 other men who have left the COG and indicated that they were more or less told to not have contact with us. Something seems terribly wrong and unscriptural about this. I've heard it for years from others who had left the COG. It seems you leave and you are "labeled" as unfit for the Kingdom. What does the Bible say something like this? Mark 9:38-41 comes to mind: â€œTeacher,â€ said John, â€œwe saw someone driving out demons in your name and we told him to stop because he was not one of us.â€ â€œDo not stop him,â€ Jesus said. â€œFor no one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anything bad about me, for whoever is not against us is for us. Truly I tell you, anyone who gives you a cup of water in my name because you belong to the Messiah will certainly not lose their reward."

Guess the leadership of the COG have not seen this passage.

Cojak

01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24275 **6/5/19 9:21 am**

AMAZING, just amazing how (UN)-Christian some Christians can be. My best to you my brother as you navigate waters you never expected to.

I do not feel like you are abandoning a sinking ship, because the COG is not sinking as many think, but our ship is in need of many repairs, if not paid attention to, it could be a sinking ship.

That said my friend, ignorance is the finger on the trigger of those who snipe and it is a shame.
Love from North Carolina.
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Dave Dorsey

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 13654 **6/5/19 9:25 am**

I honestly question the faith of any denominational leader who would act in such a way. It is so totally foreign to the character of Christ, so alien to the working of the Spirit in the life of a believer, that IMO it calls into question whether genuine regeneration ever occurred at all.

Nature Boy Florida

Re: Why the hostility?

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 16619 **6/5/19 9:42 am**

Darrell Garrett

Re: Why the hostility?

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5329 **6/5/19 9:51 am**

Nature Boy Florida

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 16619 **6/5/19 10:14 am**

OK they're losers and don't live out the Bible like they should.

I would check into the revoked thing - should be easy to ask the question and get an answer from HQ. It is about you so they should have no problem giving the answer.
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Da Sheik

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1860 **6/5/19 10:27 am**

I hold no hostility towards you whatsoever. You have walked through a door that you believe God has opened for you. I would focus my attention on the windshield and not the rear view mirror my friend. Paul and Barnabas parted ways but they both enjoyed their own success. Later it appears there was a reconciliation where John Mark was concerned.

If you're not careful, this whole situation will cause a root of bitterness to spring up. You don't want to carry that baggage into this new assignment of yours. I know firsthand the feeling of betrayal by close friends so I'm speaking from a place of empathy! Rest assured that the One who knows all things is well aware of any injustice you may have suffered. Sometimes I think that is all part of this calling. One way or another, we are going to identify with the sufferings of Christ. He was rejected, misunderstood, criticized, and in the end....abandoned by all. Paul made similar statements in his second letter to Timothy ("Demas hath forsaken me.....only Luke is with me")

So if it makes you feel any better....you're in good company! I pray God gives you a great harvest in this new phase of ministry!

Darrell Garrett

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5329 **6/5/19 10:43 am**

Thanks, and much appreciated. I'm really trying to move forward and not look back. But then I hear or experience something else, or I find out what another person is going through, and it gets very frustrating. I could see it if there was a fight, a split or something like that, but I did everything I can to work within the system and was given an ultimatum that it was the COG's way or get out, so I left.

Aaron Scott

Darrell...some thoughts...

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 6032 **6/5/19 10:54 am**

When someone leaves a denomination, it can feel a bit like a divorce. When Kevin Wallace left to go independent, while it might have been the case that he truly felt to go in another direction (and I have no reason to doubt him), it can be hurtful, can still feel a bit like a betrayal.

When someone has been given all sorts of opportunities and platforms and prominence and the such, but then leaves anyway, it's not going to be well-received in many circles.

Just play this out in the local church.... Someone who has been given breaks and mentoring and position...then decides to head down the road to either work in or start up a church...it's is NOT going to go over well.

Yes, those outside the church--and especially outside the leadership of that church--can make all sorts of comments about how the pastor is not being kingdom-minded and the such...until it comes home to roost in their church.

So, Darrell, while I absolutely get why some can feel hurt or betrayed or at least let down by your decision, YOU still much do what you believe God wants you to do. Same with Kevin Wallace and others. Yes, we may hurt a bit, feel like we got thrown under the bus, got left for someone younger and prettier, but that's US. All you can do is control what YOU do.

A cousin of mine divorced a guy that we well-liked by the whole family. At first, I stayed in touch. But eventually, especially when she married someone else, it not only became somewhat awkward to stay in touch, but that void was filled by a new member in the family.

It works the same way with pastors. If you leave a church, sometimes the folks will feel that they are being scorned, tossed aside while the pastor goes on to better things. A denomination can do that too, unfortunately. At the same time, I know you are not naive enough to think that everything would continue as before. I dare say that even you, good a man as you are, might have had some friends who left the Church of God...and you didn't find it as needful to stay in touch as often as you did before.

I think that is part of the calculus one has to consider when leaving the Church of God. As best as I have been able to observe, the warmth of the fellowship of Church of God pastors is virtually unique among denominations. We are in many ways a real family--and it was even closer than that back in the day with district meetings and the such.

When someone leaves, it can feel as if they have decided to marry into another family. And so we turn our attentions back to those who are still in the family...while perhaps nursing some hurts over a minister's departure.

But if you know God sent you, then go, nothing doubting. God surely knew that such a reaction would come, yet He told you to go anyway. All I can say is that I truly wish you the best.

Rife Stewart

My experience...

Acts-celerater Posts: 841 **6/9/19 11:22 pm**

So I was raised COG. I graduated Lee (Darryl, you and I attended there at the same time), and then moved on to the Theological Seminary (although I only attended 1 year).

I served faithfully in the COG for 21 years before leaving the denomination about 6 years ago. I left on good terms at my own discretion. I met with my state leaders and shared why. Since then I have not heard 1 word from the denomination, but I didn't expect to. I was not in the political arena...never liked that stuff. The titanic doesn't turn fast enough for me. I didn't want to be 70 and still trying to get the COG to think outside the box or realize there was a box and there was a bigger world outside it.

I never heard from the COG before, unless I was more than 5 days over on my report. They actually held my ordination papers for 6 months because I was "delinquent" in one of my reports. Mind you, I sent it in, but it got there like 2 days late. Shocked

The denomination (or movement I think they used to call it Laughing

) is what it is....

God is calling you to something new. Leave the old behind. Yes, it'll be hard, especially when you hear things said about you that you that aren't true. YOU KNOW what you did or didn't do/say.

I love all my friends in the COG. I hardly ever see/hear from any of them, but I truly enjoy my COG family. I never left the family. I still support my Alma Mater(s). I just wanted to move out of the house...not divorce my parents! Laughing

I know you are hurt, by some of this. But I'm proud of you for following the Lord's leading. Blessing you man, in all that you do in the Kingdom in your new work.[/b]

Dean Steenburgh

Golf Cart Mafia Capo Famiglia Posts: 4682 **6/14/19 8:28 pm**

Years ago I posted the following info so I won't go into details.
I too left the CoG & was immediately blackballed by several whom I had grown up with & by some whom I looked up to.
After 15 years I came back & it was rough for quite a while in terms of acceptance. One state leader said he was in a convo about me where it was stated "give him enough time & he'll bolt out of here again" hahahaha
I've now been back for 19 years & it's much better than it was the first 10 years of my 19.
Oddly enough I still have many great friends who encouraged me when I accepted the pastorate in the CoG again. In fact I didn't lose one of those friends.
The CoG can be an odd place to minister at times, she's cranky, friendly & full of cliques in many places.
If I were to leave the West coast I'm sure I would face some challenges.
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What are you focused on?

Darrell Garrett

Re: My experience...

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5329 **6/14/19 9:12 pm**

Mat

Some points to ponder

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1979 **6/15/19 8:24 am**

Here's some points to ponder:

First - If you choose to leave a pastorate of a church, or choose to withdraw from a denomination - its a two way street - the emotions you are feeling may reflect the since of rejection they are feeling - you see the circumstance of your departure from your perspective and they from theirs. The relationships are changed - and you had a part in changing them.

Second - While expressing the failures of the "denomination" (in this case COG), you are including everybody in it. Your friends who remain are being asked to continue to support you while you continue to express why you needed to leave them and how blessed you are not being a part of them. From either side it takes time to work through and realign our emotions.

Third - If you're following God's will for your ministry, what does the COG have to do with you any more? Its you history, not your reality.

Last - Like any denomination, there are cultural and polity traits passed down from generation to generation. The COG has always had a pension for being combative and litigious with those who they cannot control. It is a paradox that there are wonderful people in the COG, it has accomplished much from its beginnings, but you don't want to cross them. I think it may be the DNA of J. S. Lewellyn in their body.

Mat

Dow Moses

Friendly Face Posts: 100 **6/15/19 12:21 pm**

Never understood the need for hostility. I hate it when people leave our church but do it ugly. It is like they celebrate being destructive. On the other end I believe you can leave a denomination without being ugly on either side.
I did my best not to be hostile when I left, but if you get asked why you left, then your answer my come across as hostile even if you didnâ€™t mean it to be hostile. It was just your reason. Iâ€™ve done my best to honor the no contact order in our State accept for still being cordial with friends in the state. I still love the COG and hope the best for it. Iâ€™ve been shocked at things Iâ€™ve heard has been said about me, but I know the truth and I can live with that. I have no desire to be hostile or destructive. Iâ€™m to the place I know leaving was right for me and I believe Administration who say they believe I should be gone. Lol
Years has made it easier, but was one of the hardest decisions ever.
I have always said I would not want the job of the AB. Iâ€™m sure I would make decisions that I thoughts was right that others would completely disagree with. Something I would try to do as an AB is be respectful and honest with churches and ministers. I would try not to be hostile or disrespectful to people that has given their lives to God and his church.
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DOW MOSES

Darrell Garrett

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 5329 **6/15/19 1:43 pm**

That's my point exactly. I've not contacted any of the pastors in the state except one, who is one of my closest friends. I've even avoided talking with relatives in the state who are COG so that it would not appear that I was trying to do any harm. Still, I have been contacted by men and women in the state who say, "they heard" and so on. It's been said that I (and others who have left the COG) are trying to convince others to pull out. That's simply not true. My own son is ordained in the COG and I have strongly encouraged him to remain. My choice was an ultimatum and I chose what I felt and feel is God's will but that's MY life, not anyone else's. I cannot understand why such things have been said. It's mind-boggling.

roughridercog

People who turn their back on you like that

Acts Mod Posts: 25306 **6/15/19 4:04 pm**

They were never really with you. They weren't really your friends. Trust the ones who treat you the same way they've always treated you.
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