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 How to beat the Methodists to Cracker Barrel without changing your service starting time |
bonnie knox |
Here are a few tips free of charge, though I'm thinking of starting a business and charging for this kind of advice. 
Start on time.
Don't read the announcements. If they are in the bulletin, on the screen, sent out in emails and on Facebook, you don't need to read them. But if you insist, make wham, bam bullet points, and don't go into detail.
Don't sing those 7-11 songs. Stick to the redback and repeat the final chorus no more than once.
Cut the parenthetical stuff in your sermons. Cut the speculative stuff in your sermons. Cut the commentary on national politics in your sermon.
Instead of begging while "every head is bowed and every eye is closed," just invite everyone to the front and get on with the praying.
Hope that helps.  |
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Posts: 14803
3/27/17 2:30 pm
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Da Sheik |
The only time I will make reference to the bulletin is if we are observing communion, having a business meeting, or having a meal following the service. And even then, it's short and sweet. We do a bulletin, phone tree, monthly newsletter, and website / social media. For me to read the bulletin verbatim would not only be redundant, it would be a huge waste of time.
In a previous pastorate, my music minister would linger starting on time because he wanted to wait for the crowd to file in. Used to infuriate me. Here, we have the time projected onto the screens and a five-minute countdown prior to service. We might not always end on time, but by George we are going to start on time ! |
Acts Enthusiast
Posts: 1861
3/27/17 2:57 pm
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Cojak |
| Da Sheik wrote: | | ... We might not always end on time, but by George we are going to start on time ! |
I sure like that point!  
comment on time: The first time we visited a church with a count down I wasn't sure I liked it. But having visited several churches now that use it, I have began to appreciate it.
It is sorta like a Prepatory command in the military.
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3/27/17 5:52 pm
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Link |
Beating the Baptists is one thing, but beating the Methodists to the Cracker Barrel is an ambitious goal indeed.
If you cut all that stuff out of some sermons, you'd be left with about five minutes of preaching. 
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Link |
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3/27/17 11:05 pm
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Cojak |
| Link wrote: | Beating the Baptists is one thing, but beating the Methodists to the Cracker Barrel is an ambitious goal indeed.
If you cut all that stuff out of some sermons, you'd be left with about five minutes of preaching. |
He dude, I have heard that sermon! Probably Even preached a couple of them! 
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http://shipslog-jack.blogspot.com/ |
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3/27/17 11:34 pm
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Link |
I think there is room for some political commentary in church. There is plenty of it in the Bible.
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3/28/17 12:25 am
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bonnie knox |
| I've heard a lot of it that should have been left out of sermons, haven't you? |
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3/28/17 5:55 am
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c6thplayer1 |
| Your a year or two behind the baptist Bonnie. We have been doing that for years. Our Generals are now preparing for your next move to beat us to the cracker barrel. Give up , It cant be Done ! |
Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology
Posts: 6385
3/28/17 9:52 am
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bonnie knox |
Well, I don't actually go out on Sunday afternoons, anyway. I usually fix a fairly simple lunch at home.
| c6thplayer1 wrote: | | Your a year or two behind the baptist Bonnie. We have been doing that for years. Our Generals are now preparing for your next move to beat us to the cracker barrel. Give up , It cant be Done ! |
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Posts: 14803
3/28/17 10:00 am
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Cojak |
| c6thplayer1 wrote: | | Your a year or two behind the baptist Bonnie. We have been doing that for years. Our Generals are now preparing for your next move to beat us to the cracker barrel. Give up , It cant be Done ! |
[/quote]
[quote="bonnie knox"]Well, I don't actually go out on Sunday afternoons, anyway. I usually fix a fairly simple lunch at home.
Yeah but Bonnie you are a little old fashioned, you need to learn to compete. C6th has thrown out a challenge! I think we can beat 'em!
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3/28/17 12:01 pm
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Old Time Country Preacher |
| You fellers git ya mind off Cracker Barrel an on worship an the Baptists an Methodists won't matter. By the time you git there they'll done be gone an you'll have the place to yaself. |
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3/28/17 4:40 pm
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c6thplayer1 |
| Old Time Country Preacher wrote: | | You fellers git ya mind off Cracker Barrel an on worship an the Baptists an Methodists won't matter. By the time you git there they'll done be gone an you'll have the place to yaself. |
I know your not basing that on the belt size of baptist preacher.. |
Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology
Posts: 6385
3/28/17 4:51 pm
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Old Time Country Preacher |
| c6thplayer1 wrote: | | Old Time Country Preacher wrote: | | You fellers git ya mind off Cracker Barrel an on worship an the Baptists an Methodists won't matter. By the time you git there they'll done be gone an you'll have the place to yaself. |
I know your not basing that on the belt size of baptist preacher.. |
They won't pay for it at Cracker Barrel, C, em kinda baptist boys is lookin fer at all ya can eat buffet bar. You know, one price, ten trips to the bar. |
Acts-pert Poster
Posts: 15570
3/28/17 5:46 pm
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c6thplayer1 |
| Old Time Country Preacher wrote: | | c6thplayer1 wrote: | | Old Time Country Preacher wrote: | | You fellers git ya mind off Cracker Barrel an on worship an the Baptists an Methodists won't matter. By the time you git there they'll done be gone an you'll have the place to yaself. |
I know your not basing that on the belt size of baptist preacher.. |
They won't pay for it at Cracker Barrel, C, em kinda baptist boys is lookin fer at all ya can eat buffet bar. You know, one price, ten trips to the bar. |
Could be but be warned , never stand in between a baptist and a cheeseburger. |
Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology
Posts: 6385
3/28/17 8:16 pm
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Link |
| bonnie knox wrote: | | I've heard a lot of it that should have been left out of sermons, haven't you? |
Yes, some but not all.
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3/28/17 8:31 pm
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bonnie knox |
Well, I think it's a good policy to cut out all the political commentary on national politics if you want to get to Cracker Barrel before the Methodists. Now, are you going to be contentious about that?
| Link wrote: | | bonnie knox wrote: | | I've heard a lot of it that should have been left out of sermons, haven't you? |
Yes, some but not all. |
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Posts: 14803
3/28/17 8:48 pm
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Link |
| bonnie knox wrote: | Well, I think it's a good policy to cut out all the political commentary on national politics if you want to get to Cracker Barrel before the Methodists. Now, are you going to be contentious about that?
| Link wrote: | | bonnie knox wrote: | | I've heard a lot of it that should have been left out of sermons, haven't you? |
Yes, some but not all. |
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I'm not a big fan of breakfast for lunch or country ham. If we were talking about Logan's Steak House, that sounds pretty good right now.
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Link |
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3/29/17 4:23 am
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| You can get a steak at Cracker Barrel (or grilled chicken) |
bonnie knox |
"10 oz. Rib Eye Steak
Our thick-cut USDA Choice rib eye is aged 28 days for exceptional tenderness and flavor, lightly seasoned and grilled to order." |
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Posts: 14803
3/29/17 6:58 am
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Cojak |
| Link wrote: |
I'm not a big fan of breakfast for lunch or country ham. .... |
Link you left the mountains before you were grown. I wasn't a fan of contry ham either until my mid 20's. hahahahah
My daddy raised a hog every year until I was 15, when the towns and cities outlawed hogs in the city limits.
Mama was sweet and saved me some fresh ham before my daddy ruined it with all that salt.
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http://shipslog-jack.blogspot.com/ |
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3/29/17 10:28 am
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DrDuck |
| Cojak wrote: | | Link wrote: |
I'm not a big fan of breakfast for lunch or country ham. .... |
Link you left the mountains before you were grown. I wasn't a fan of contry ham either until my mid 20's. hahahahah
My daddy raised a hog every year until I was 15, when the towns and cities outlawed hogs in the city limits.
Mama was sweet and saved me some fresh ham before my daddy ruined it with all that salt. |
Some folks just never had good country ham. Cracker Barrel's "Uncle Herschel's Favorite" is very good with country ham. Their country ham is very good, not the best but very good. For me, the saltier the better. My grandpa's country ham would curl you tongue. I loved it. I like to top off the "Uncle Herschel's Favorite" with a frosty mug of their excellent cider. |
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Posts: 755
3/30/17 6:47 am
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