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How many times can a COG Pastor be married and still hold his position?
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Post How many times can a COG Pastor be married and still hold his position? c6thplayer1
I know of two that have been married several times. One is denied his license and the opportunity for a church and the other is still a pastor. Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology
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8/11/15 3:38 pm


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Post Old Time Country Preacher
Depends on the season! Acts-pert Poster
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8/11/15 3:56 pm


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Post Eddie Robbins
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8/11/15 4:46 pm


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Post Quiet Wyatt
I believe it depends on the situation. I could be wrong, but it seems I recall there is also a limit as to how many divorces and remarriages they will accept (no matter what the cause) as well. Acts-perienced Poster
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8/11/15 5:31 pm


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Post as of the last general assembly there are no limits muricewatsonsfriend
we took the lid off. a man can be married as many times as Solomon, providing he's still the "innocent party."
- Darius
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8/11/15 5:34 pm


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Post Quiet Wyatt
Really? So now we accept polygamists like Solomon as pastors? Wink Acts-perienced Poster
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8/11/15 5:37 pm


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Post bradfreeman
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8/11/15 7:49 pm


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Post Re: as of the last general assembly there are no limits georgiapath
muricewatsonsfriend wrote:
we took the lid off. a man can be married as many times as Solomon, providing he's still the "innocent party."
- Darius



Laughing Laughing There is three sides to every story, his side, her side and the truth.
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8/12/15 7:46 am


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Post It seems I have ... Mat
It seems I have never met someone who is divorced and who identifies themselves as the guilty party. Then again, I have never met a divorced person who was completely innocent in a marriage ending in divorce, though they may think so. It seems that if there are multiple short term marriages and several divorces in a minister's life, perhaps that person lacks the judgment or discernment skills needed to lead a church. We have come a long way from the standard of "the husband of one wife".

Mat
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8/12/15 10:26 am


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Post bonnie knox
Quote:
Then again, I have never met a divorced person who was completely innocent in a marriage ending in divorce, though they may think so.


I came across a blog recently which challenged this. The blog writer calls it the "shared responsibility lie." If a person's spouse has committed adultery and the marriage ends as a result, it is certainly possible that the person who had been cheated on is innocent.
http://www.divorceminister.com/shared-responsibility-lie/
Why heap guilt on someone who is devastated from having been cheated on by trying to make them bear responsibility for his or her partner's infidelity?
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8/12/15 2:28 pm


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Post Bonnie, Mat
bonnie knox wrote:
Quote:
Then again, I have never met a divorced person who was completely innocent in a marriage ending in divorce, though they may think so.


I came across a blog recently which challenged this. The blog writer calls it the "shared responsibility lie." If a person's spouse has committed adultery and the marriage ends as a result, it is certainly possible that the person who had been cheated on is innocent.
http://www.divorceminister.com/shared-responsibility-lie/
Why heap guilt on someone who is devastated from having been cheated on by trying to make them bear responsibility for his or her partner's infidelity?


Bonnie,
I'm sure there are the innocent among us, but so often when you speak to both the husband and the wife, you realize that it is hard to find a "perfect" spouse who did not share in some way the problems of the marriage. I am often amazed how determined some people are to get married no matter what they know or have been told, only to just as determinedly end their marriage. Am I heaping guilt on the one who did not cheat, or am I pointing out that marriage is more than what we have reduced it to in the church?

Mat
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8/12/15 3:35 pm


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Post Quiet Wyatt
Jesus and Paul said there were cases in which it was permissible to divorce. Not saying it is always justified by any means, but if it were always sinful and the blame always fell on both parties to some extent, it does not seem reasonable that the Lord would give permission at all (which is basically the old-line view of divorce that used to be held to in the CoG and A/G, for example). Acts-perienced Poster
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8/12/15 5:53 pm


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Post Mat, bonnie knox
I don't know what the situations are like that you have personally witnessed, so I'm speaking in generic terms. But it's wrong to say that because someone hasn't been a perfect spouse that he or she is to blame for a failed marriage that he or she didn't want to fail. [Insert Acts Pun Here]
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8/12/15 6:00 pm


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Post Re: Mat, Mat
bonnie knox wrote:
I don't know what the situations are like that you have personally witnessed, so I'm speaking in generic terms. But it's wrong to say that because someone hasn't been a perfect spouse that he or she is to blame for a failed marriage that he or she didn't want to fail.


Bonnie,

I know there is no perfect spouse and dealing with a failed marriage is difficult for most people who have an honest heart. The subject line is about multiple marriage ending in divorce and the person (generally the man) continuing in ministry as if all is well because in each and every case he was the "innocent" party. I'm just pointing out that first of all most divorces do not stand up and say "it was all my fault and he is the innocent one".

Secondly, if this is a pattern in the life of the "minister/pastor", does his inability to keep a marriage together disqualify him from being the shepherd of a church. Now I'm sure that there are many examples of a man (woman) going through a terrible divorce and after some time of healing finding a godly woman to be his lifelong partner in a blessed ministry. I question if there are any positive effects on the Body of Christ in endorsing/supporting those who are "serial" covenant breakers who have a history of multiple divorces.

I will never forget one of my DIs at MCRD (San Diego - yes a Hollywood Marine all you sand flea bitten PI types) who said he "changed wives like he changed his socks". He explained that every time he returned from a tour or deployment he got divorced and that it was true that "if the Corp wanted to you have a wife they would have issued you one." Now as callus as that seems, I find it honest, because he did not try to excuse his failed marriages with a covering of "spiritual platitudes".

If I needed to be trained to defend my country, he was a great role model when it came to combat experience. However, in the Kingdom I don't need the DI model, I need the Shepherd model.

Mat
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8/13/15 9:26 am


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Post Re: It seems I have ... Link
Mat wrote:
It seems I have never met someone who is divorced and who identifies themselves as the guilty party. Then again, I have never met a divorced person who was completely innocent in a marriage ending in divorce, though they may think so.



I met a man after church last week who said he was divorced because he left his wife for another woman, and he admitted that was awful.

Quote:
It seems that if there are multiple short term marriages and several divorces in a minister's life, perhaps that person lacks the judgment or discernment skills needed to lead a church. We have come a long way from the standard of "the husband of one wife".


I think you have a valid point. This goes against the philosophy a lot of Pentecostals have that being a pastor (or overseer in the church) is purely a matter of 'calling.' The Bible doesn't mention calling at all in relation to this role. It does give a list of qualifications. Being called to preach and being qualified to overseer in the church are two different things.
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8/16/15 4:32 pm


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Post Link
How many times can a man be remarried and be a pastor if he doesn't get a divorce? I mean, if his wives just keep dying, how any times would it be before people would be too suspicious to let him pastor?

I read a biography in high school about an early colonial governor in Massachusetts who married three times. He was widowed twice. But that was back in the day when women often died in child birth.

We have to appreciate how good we have it with epidurals and high rates of both mother and child surviving childbirth.
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8/16/15 4:35 pm


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Post JLarry
I see this thread and count my blessings. I have been married to the same woman for over 46 years.

I have a family member who has been married 5 times. He has been married to his current wife for over 25 years. Another, 4 times and now divorced.

Six in my family, three married more than once.

Neither my wife or I lived in broken homes. "Broken homes" is that politically correct?
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8/16/15 7:46 pm


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Post Re: as of the last general assembly there are no limits Robin Williams
muricewatsonsfriend wrote:
we took the lid off. a man can be married as many times as Solomon, providing he's still the "innocent party."
- Darius

Regarding the item that dealt with divorce and remarriage prior to conversion. That one was interesting.
As the debate moved into the third inning...a rather well known minister came to the mic and asked the following question:

"Mr Moderator, I just have one question: which conversion are we talking about...you know a guy can backslide, then be saved again. So which one are we talking about!"

This is truly a great quandary needing resolve. You know, our Pentecostal Wesleyan-Holiness heritage has amazing up-sides - like choice, free-will and salvation that can be lost easier than a set of car keys. In fact my favorite soteriological worship song is "The Hokey Pokey" you know: (singing)

'You put your right faith in
You put your right faith out
You put right faith in and you shake it all about
You do the Hokey Pokey and turn your faith around
That's what it's all about!'

And so I agree with my brother, we should be extremely cautious when considering those who may exploit our Hokey Pokey as an occasion for hanky panky. However, we must never. . . NEVER I SAY, never surrender our Wesleyan Hokiness Pokiness! After all the only thing more dangerous than the influence of refornication theology is reformation theology! Hold the Wesleyan line I say, hold the line!
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8/16/15 10:23 pm


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Post bonnie knox
Hey Robin, welcome to the board. (I almost typed "welcome to the bird"--had the song "When the Red, Red Robin Comes Bobbing Along" in my mind.)

Btw, if you want to be funny, no hokeyness allowed. Wink
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8/17/15 8:22 am


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Post Cojak
Funny thing, sometimes we want strict rules and others we don't.

Innocent party? Not many. But I have mentioned it before that a good pastor in Florida was the innocent party. His wife went to the State overseer and told him she was divorcing her husband the pastor, a good man and true. She was leaving him because he would not leave the ministry and she was not going to be a pastors wife.

I personally would have stayed with my wife and got a job, but if you are 'CALLED', you remember the words pastors have quoted for years about the plow handles and looking back,etc.

By the way, Yeah, welcome aboard Robin Williams, miracles do happen, I'm a believer.
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8/17/15 8:50 pm


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