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Ten Reasons Our Kids Are Leaving the Church
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Post Ten Reasons Our Kids Are Leaving the Church R. Keith Whitt
http://marc5solas.wordpress.com/2013/02/08/top-10-reasons-our-kids-leave-church/

I think his points are valid, though I'm not sure I agree with his solutions (and all his reasoning). Bottom line for me: the Church has failed at making disciples.

Thought?

Keith
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2/13/13 7:33 am


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Post Patrick Harris
He missed it. His answer seems to be just let the youth be content with a a standard formatted service when we only dwell on the essentials to faith and that will straighten everything out.


But then again, he does follow :

Tim Challies
James White
Chris Rosebrough

Who pretty much hate anything to do with anything outside of a standard nailed down church environment.

After reading the above mention bloggers on Passion in Atlanta, I summarily dismiss their views.


Last edited by Patrick Harris on 2/13/13 8:15 am; edited 1 time in total
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2/13/13 7:57 am


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Post diakoneo
11. They have not been born again. Golf Cart Mafia Consigliere
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2/13/13 8:09 am


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Post 12 Scooter
12. People teaching them they don't have to go to church to be a real christian. Shocked Acts Enthusiast
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Post Cojak
I am missing something in this article of buzzwords and church history. I am irrelevant in today's church world. And like many problems in today's world, I don't' know what to do with what I know.

I have heard all my life we are losing the youth, so far no one has come up with a good answer. When you allow a child to have free reign with their thoughts, to FIND themselves, you have rebellion.

You find less revolt in strong disciplined groups like the Amish, Mennonites, LDS and strict Catholic groups.

The protestant church (by its very name) wants people to think for themselves (Oh but within reason), to reach out, to learn, they do, and many keep trying to find themselves. Then we say, we didn't mean for you to go this far!

Shocked Shocked Idea
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Post Quiet Wyatt
Cojak wrote:

You find less revolt in strong disciplined groups like the Amish, Mennonites, LDS and strict Catholic groups


Check out shows like "Breaking Amish." Basically the most powerful motivator these groups have is the incredibly intimidating threat of shunning/excommunication (which in their culture equals damnation) for dissenters. It's just sad and pathetic what kids who leave these groups have to endure. If a law could have been given that would have been able to impart life, then truly righteousness would have come through the law.
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Post Eddie Robbins
I think kids leave the church because that is what kids do. Once they get out on their own, they want to test the waters. We can call them "prodigals." What do prodigals do? They come home. I have mentioned this before but it seems like every baptism testimony at North Point has the same story.

"I was raised in the church by loving parents. In high school, I drifted away and by the time I was in college, I had left the church. I got married, had kids and a crisis hit. I was invited by a friend to a small group and the process of coming home began......."

It is amazing how many times I have heard this same story. The question is, why did they leave? It wasn't always the fault of the church. It is just what kids do. Stop trying to figure it out and continue to love these kids. They will come home.
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Post Cojak
Quiet Wyatt wrote:
Cojak wrote:

You find less revolt in strong disciplined groups like the Amish, Mennonites, LDS and strict Catholic groups


Check out shows like "Breaking Amish." Basically the most powerful motivator these groups have is the incredibly intimidating threat of shunning/excommunication (which in their culture equals damnation) for dissenters. It's just sad and pathetic what kids who leave these groups have to endure. If a law could have been given that would have been able to impart life, then truly righteousness would have come through the law.


We never watch TV, but I was referring to the percentages. You will find a very small percentage of Amish or LDS who leave their roots. I'm not sayig it is good, just that the discipline is there and the tool of FEAR is used very frequently. Smile
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Post Quiet Wyatt
Sorry, I meant "Amish: Out of the Order," not "Breaking Amish." The latter was not nearly as real as the former.

Last edited by Quiet Wyatt on 2/14/13 10:19 am; edited 1 time in total
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Cojak wrote:

We never watch TV, but I was referring to the percentages. You will find a very small percentage of Amish or LDS who leave their roots. I'm not sayig it is good, just that the discipline is there and the tool of FEAR is used very frequently. Smile


Maybe Amish kids tend to stay because they don't watch TV either.

Just think about it. How many hours a week do kids spend with their parents and in church? Now compare that to the number of hours kids spend in public school being fed a diet of education based on secular humanism and the opinions of immature people in their same age group, and add to that the hours kids spend watching TV and other media. My guess is parents + media is less, time wise, than school + TV for a lot of kids.

I also wonder if a lot of kids leave if they don't see their parents and other church people living out a Christian life. Churches tolerate sin, and kids see that, and a little leaven leavens the whole lump.
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Post Randy Johnson
To a certain point, children are idealistic, and if they are taught one thing by their parents and the church, yet see another thing actually being done in practice, they catch on to the hypocrisy pretty quick, and eventually they reason it out for themselves and decide to live honestly (even if that means in sin) instead of like their parents or other church people they observe.
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2/14/13 6:56 am


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Post hitting the like button wayne
Eddie Robbins wrote:
I think kids leave the church because that is what kids do. Once they get out on their own, they want to test the waters. We can call them "prodigals." What do prodigals do? They come home. I have mentioned this before but it seems like every baptism testimony at North Point has the same story.

"I was raised in the church by loving parents. In high school, I drifted away and by the time I was in college, I had left the church. I got married, had kids and a crisis hit. I was invited by a friend to a small group and the process of coming home began......."

It is amazing how many times I have heard this same story. The question is, why did they leave? It wasn't always the fault of the church. It is just what kids do. Stop trying to figure it out and continue to love these kids. They will come home.

Thumb Up Thumb Up Thumb Up Thumb Up
I hated the church as I was growing. Yes, I thought is was old fashioned, too hard, had little to do with me, they didn't understand me.............. The list goes on and on. Unfortunate for me, I had to experience the world for myself which brought me to a place where I had to experience God for myself. Once, I truly experienced God for myself - I stayed.
We older folks need to stop criticizing the younger generations for their faults and failures. We did the same things. We need to love them, educate them and wait on them like the prodigal son's father did.
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Post Re: hitting the like button Randy Johnson
wayne wrote:
We older folks need to stop criticizing the younger generations for their faults and failures. We did the same things. We need to love them, educate them and wait on them like the prodigal son's father did.


Wayne, that's difficult to do if you have a theology that teaches if you commit one deliberate sin you have lost your salvation and if you die before "repenting" you will go to hell.

What parent wants to play that kind of spiritual Russian roulette with their children?
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Post bonnie knox
I'm going to add this to the conversation even though it might be controversial. Ken Ham from Answers in Genesis has concluded that young people are leaving the church because the Bible isn't being taught as authoritative. He is dogmatic about certain beliefs that not everyone will agree with (and I don't agree with him about everything either), but he has given considerable thought to when and why young people are leaving church.
Here is a series of articles on their website about his take on this problem.
http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/ag

I think one thing that might be interesting to do is to profile the young people who don't leave the faith. What are the differences?
I don't think it's acceptable to view straying from the faith as a normal phase that a disciple of Christ goes through.
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Post Cojak
bonnie knox wrote:

I think one thing that might be interesting to do is to profile the young people who don't leave the faith. What are the differences?
I don't think it's acceptable to view straying from the faith as a phase that any disciple of Christ should go through.


I remember hearing a young minister who had never 'tested' the waters outside his faith, he was lamenting he did not have a 'Super testimony' of being a drug user or drunk. He was lamenting his testimony was not "INTERESTING".

We Love stories of the Prodigal, I know I do. I have heard young ministers give their testimony of their wild days in a way to make it exciting, enough to catch a young boys interest to say, hey that is cool. Too bad some Prodigals cannot have the heart and mind of the Prodigal of the scripture. Shocked
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Post sheepdogandy
I have two sons.

I love them both dearly.

They were both raised in church.

No hoopla. Their mother and I gave them the best we could both spiritually and materially.

The older son is married, (once) has one step child and two blood children.

He and his family are active in church.

My younger son is divorced, (once) with one step child and two blood children.

Neither he nor my grandchildren even attend church.

Both were raised in the same enviorment.

Go figure. Rolling Eyes
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Post Quiet Wyatt
The way most conservative evangelical churches teach on the issue of divorce, it should not be surprising if those who are divorced stay away. [Insert Acts Pun Here]
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Post Nature Boy Florida
article was over the top.

My o - from my years of experience....

A lot of kids out of high school or college quit coming to church because they are not living up to THEIR expectations.

And I am not just talking about sin.

They had this idea - that if they have enough faith - and work hard - they will be successful. And to the outside person - we might look at them as successful - but THEY don't.

They thought they would have ______ job, making ______ money, married to ______ person - because at least one person they used to compare themselves to DID get all those things.

But they didn't. At least not yet.

So they have feelings of failure - and coming to church - and seeing the folks they knew best - and who know them best - makes them feel inadequate.

Better to hang out with a crowd that doesn't have those (perceived) expectations. Its not that they are necessarily sinners - or that they don't like the church people - it just reminds them that they had expectations of being "Destined to Win" growing up with God's blessings - and they currently don't feel like winners.

So staying away from church eases the pain. When I get a chance to sit down with young people I haven't seen in a while - I hear this a lot.

Has anyone else seen this?
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Post Re: hitting the like button Eddie Robbins
Randy Johnson wrote:
wayne wrote:
We older folks need to stop criticizing the younger generations for their faults and failures. We did the same things. We need to love them, educate them and wait on them like the prodigal son's father did.


Wayne, that's difficult to do if you have a theology that teaches if you commit one deliberate sin you have lost your salvation and if you die before "repenting" you will go to hell.

What parent wants to play that kind of spiritual Russian roulette with their children?


Well, you can't MAKE them be saved. If you fuss at them about going to church, it will push them farther away. Folks need to get over it. Hey, I have an idea. Fast, pray for your children and LOVE your children. Even then, not all will return but it's all we got and fussing at them will not save them.
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Post Cojak
There area lot of good comments here. The reasons are so varied that no one rule or guide fits all.

I for one could not get out of the parsonage soon enough. I had the best mom and dad a guy could have, but I was up to my neck with church attendance. I wanted to know what it was like to do something on Sunday other than church, also on wed night, fri nite or sat nite. etc. 3 wk revivals not a nite off, etc. I think we all have a lot to say, but I am stopping there.

Me'n Sheep dog are running about neck and neck on our two boys. Smile
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