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Having an affair
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Post Having an affair usefull
I am just trying to understand the reason behind such activities. Is it egos, the thrill, the thought of being smooth and never being caught? What causes men in positions of a Pastor or an AB to dig a hole and jump in?

One poster in another thread called it a failure, others call it a mistake, I have to be honest and call it what the Lord calls it; Sin, with a capitol S, plain and simple. I donít believe there is not a pastor on this board that if you havenít had an opportunity of someone of the opposite sex come onto you, sooner or later it will happen. Why are some able to turn away from such temptation, while others give in to it?

For myself, I think of the pain and hurt that I would cause my wife, first and foremost, then I think of the example I am setting before my son, then I think of my calling and what the Lord has done in my life and finally I think of all the people I have pastor and their faith and trust they have placed in me as their pastor. It just seems so much to loose and give up for someone that just wants a fling.

I canít imagine the guilt and shame of hiding something like this from my wife and trying to put up a front on the outside and being torn apart on the inside. Do these men experience a guilty conscience or fear of someone finding out? I donít know, but it seems to be happening more and more.

Again, I am not attacking anyone, but just trying to understand the thought process of people cheating on their spouse and the Lord.
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4/9/11 6:20 pm


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Post Randy Johnson
The reason? Selfish self-centeredness.
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4/9/11 6:31 pm


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Post Travis Johnson
Never ever say it can't happen to you. Be distrustful of yourself. We are sinful people capable of the worst sins. Setup guard rails and work hard to keep yourself far from the possibility of those opportunities.

Then, pray for brothers and sisters who have sinned in this way while having the knowledge that we too have the capacity to sin in this way an in ways much worse.
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4/9/11 6:50 pm


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Post Link
My guess is some men do it for the sex.
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4/9/11 7:38 pm


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Post Re: Having an affair kmann1
usefull wrote:
I am just trying to understand the reason behind such activities. Is it egos, the thrill, the thought of being smooth and never being caught? What causes men in positions of a Pastor or an AB to dig a hole and jump in?

One poster in another thread called it a failure, others call it a mistake, I have to be honest and call it what the Lord calls it; Sin, with a capitol S, plain and simple. I donít believe there is not a pastor on this board that if you havenít had an opportunity of someone of the opposite sex come onto you, sooner or later it will happen. Why are some able to turn away from such temptation, while others give in to it?

For myself, I think of the pain and hurt that I would cause my wife, first and foremost, then I think of the example I am setting before my son, then I think of my calling and what the Lord has done in my life and finally I think of all the people I have pastor and their faith and trust they have placed in me as their pastor. It just seems so much to loose and give up for someone that just wants a fling.

I canít imagine the guilt and shame of hiding something like this from my wife and trying to put up a front on the outside and being torn apart on the inside. Do these men experience a guilty conscience or fear of someone finding out? I donít know, but it seems to be happening more and more.

Again, I am not attacking anyone, but just trying to understand the thought process of people cheating on their spouse and the Lord.



Are you serving people or are you trying to do the Father's will? It is simply sin, no different than pride. Remember what J. Edwards said " magnify in me the sin I see in others".
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4/9/11 7:40 pm


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Post Wesley Duncan
The devil usually targets the areas that we believe to be our strengths..We guard against the area of our weaknesses, but we proudly announce our perceived strengths and we leave them unguarded, therefore the devil attacks those areas.Don't ever say you wouldn't do something. Pray for those who have fallen, it doesn't make anyone of us look bigger or better because a fellow brother or sister yiields to the temptation of any sin. Friendly Face
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4/9/11 8:04 pm


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Post bonnie knox
Quote:
Don't ever say you wouldn't do something.


When most people make their wedding vows, they say "forsaking all others" or something like that.
I don't think it's prideful for someone to say, "I will be faithful to my spouse." On the contrary, I think it pays to be resolute about it.
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4/9/11 9:48 pm


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Post Carolyn Smith
I think what they are saying here is that you shouldn't be prideful saying "I'd NEVER do that." You may not know until that particular temptation comes knocking on your door.

We do have to have a made up mind, but saying never is a dangerous thing in ANY situation.

(Welcome back, Bonnie!)
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4/9/11 10:02 pm


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Post philunderwood
Seduction, from the spiritual realm, can be a very tricky thing and so very subtle. You begin to see yourself as 'less than' and 'without' what others have.

This battering of thoughts, to the soul, is relentless. Emotions cry for release and relief and none comes. Finally, you feel a desperation and sense of resignation. The aura of failure and worthlessness consumes you and you, apart from consultation, friendship, camaraderie and values say, "I am so far in the actual act will be a relief" and you focus only on the relief.

Then, the relief is very short-lived, resulting in amazing amounts of guilt, shame and failure feelings. Then, because you are worthless, no good and have convicted yourself, you do it again to prove you are no good. You repeat that sequence until you scream from the drowming state you are in for help...from a Godly human and not just God.

Then, you begin a long, hard, hardly self-forgiving road of repentance with fruit of change...looking for signs of life. If, and only if, you stay clear with at least one person, you will emerge from your shadowy grave into a new life of grace. Mercies will really be...new every morning.
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4/9/11 10:11 pm


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Post Bro Bob
James 1:14
But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
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4/9/11 10:22 pm


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Post Cojak
I have this belief, I cannot escape from it. A preacher, who is having an affair or having illicit sex with prostitutes, cannot believe in God. They cannot believe that there is a HELL that he is headed for while warning, playing at warning, others in sermons: if you commit sin you are Hell bound.

I felt a moral obligation, when I lost my faith in God, to resign my pastorate. I refused to stand behind the pulpit and say something I did not believe, I did not wait, I resigned and submitted my papers.
I believe my sin of disbelief was as bad as having an affair, as far as sin goes. The affair is worse in that if effects more people. Having an affair would have hurt my family, my father and mother, my children much more than my losing faith.

How does one stand before people of God who trust him, who honor him, who pay him and live a lie. He knows he is living a lie, the man cannot fully believe in the God he superficially talks about. He cannot believe he is headed for hell. Can he?
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4/9/11 11:27 pm


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Post Carolyn Smith
Cojak wrote:
I have this belief, I cannot escape from it. A preacher, who is having an affair or having illicit sex with prostitutes, cannot believe in God. They cannot believe that there is a HELL that he is headed for while warning, playing at warning, others in sermons: if you commit sin you are Hell bound.

I felt a moral obligation, when I lost my faith in God, to resign my pastorate. I refused to stand behind the pulpit and say something I did not believe, I did not wait, I resigned and submitted my papers.
I believe my sin of disbelief was as bad as having an affair, as far as sin goes. The affair is worse in that if effects more people. Having an affair would have hurt my family, my father and mother, my children much more than my losing faith.

How does one stand before people of God who trust him, who honor him, who pay him and live a lie. He knows he is living a lie, the man cannot fully believe in the God he superficially talks about. He cannot believe he is headed for hell. Can he?


I think he can...he is playing the odds. "It can't happen tonight...I won't get caught...I can always pray for forgiveness...no one will ever know..."

I don't get how a preacher could do this repeatedly and get up and preach every Sunday, but I've heard of it happening enough times to know it does. Still amazes me, and I just shake my head in wonder.

But King David did the same thing. His affair with Bathsheba wasn't a one night affair....and you have to remember, "There but for the grace of God go you & I."
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4/9/11 11:42 pm


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Post Carolyn, bonnie knox
Quote:
His affair with Bathsheba wasn't a one night affair


Not to hijack, but how do you get that?
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4/9/11 11:51 pm


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Post doyle
History shows that even the best of men, even some of God's champions have succumbed to temptation.

Psalmist David comes to mind. It was on his personal resume that he was a "Man after God's own heart." And yet, he not only committed adultery but had her husband killed. Sadly, it seems he was a miserable Father too.

And yet, he was at times mightily used of God.

I totally understand why it's necessary for there to be a high standard for personal conduct among ministers. But I also understand that even the best of men, even those who love God with all their heart, are vulnerable to temptation.

I've never met anyone who intentionally set out to destroy their influence and remembering that without the shed Blood of Christ, I'd be screaming my way to hell, I am not judgmental toward those who fall into sin.

You may have heard it too but many years ago when someone our family knew and loved, had what is called a moral failure, my Dad told me this:

"When a great champion stallion slips and falls in the mud, he soon recovers and as soon as possible, gets back up and attempts to continue on the journey.

However, you can take a pig, wash it, clean it, paint it's toenails and put a ribbon on it's tail, but the moment it can, it will head for the mud.

It's a case of nature. It is the pig's nature to wallow in the mud. The champion horse was only there because it slipped. Even though he slipped, his true nature takes over and he gets up.

I've seen some great champions slip and fall but I've also seen some of them, actually most of them, recover and continue on the journey. Withing the COG it is true they may never recover the status they once had but dear friends, almost everything God is doing in the world is being done outside the Church of God organization.

That's not a shot at the COG because much good is being done in the Church but there IS MUCH that can be done outside our organization.

Doyle
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4/9/11 11:55 pm


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Post Re: Having an affair usefull
kmann1 wrote:
Are you serving people or are you trying to do the Father's will? It is simply sin, no different than pride. Remember what J. Edwards said " magnify in me the sin I see in others".


Who is J. Edwards?

If I have come across as prideful, condescending, or giving the impression that I am above reproach, I ask for forgiveness. I am trying to serve the Lord by serving His people the best I can as I rely on Him for guidance and direction.

I just stated the reasons that I have for not giving into that temptation. Temptation is temptation, doesnít matter if it is a member of the opposite sex, drugs, pride, money, or whatever satan can tempt you with.

For me, an affair is the most destroying sin there is, because of all the other people it affects and not just the two parties involved in it. I have seen it first hand, watched as a pastor told our family as his wife sat beside him and told his story of how he met another woman in secret, but he said nothing happened with her. It was close enough for him to an affair that he resigned his church and went through the restoration program for two years. He finished the program and is once again pastoring a church and his marriage is stronger than ever.
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4/10/11 6:24 am


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Post sheepdogandy
Jonathon Edwards.

"Sinners in the hand of an angry God"

Just a guess.
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4/10/11 7:06 am


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Post stp89
It's easy to sit back and say what you would or wouldn't do in a given situation. Sometimes the only difference between "us" and the fallen is a word called "opportunity". Acts Enthusiast
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4/10/11 8:33 am


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Post helping hand
I keep going back to the situation with King David. I never quite understood what he meant when he said: Against Thee and Thee only have I sinned oh God". God asked david why he hated him so that he could commit such sin against Him?
I know for myself, whenever I find myself involved in any form of sin, it has started because I have lost my first love. I have forgotten how much Jesus gave for my salvation. I may still love Him but I'm not 'In love' with Him any more. I've lost my gratitude and think I "deserve" to sit on the stage and eat the best foods!
Then when temptations come, instead of fleeing; I fantasize about it and then I think about why I should go ahead and do it; then I think about how it could be accomplished; then all that's left is to act it out.
I can justify anything if I try hard enough and judge you condemned on the same thing as it suits me because of the hardness of my heart, if I'm not in right standing with my Lord at that time.
Someone said: But for the grace of God, there go I. I believe there is a lot of truth in that. I have read; he who is forgiven much, loveth much.. I think that wa David. I know it was me. Iknow that nothing I've ever done or will do is a surprize to God. Yet He still chose me first.
I don't know...He says his annointing is without regret. I know I wish it were sometimes! LOL! I guess we have all been let down and have let each other down. I also know as pastors you must hold each other to a higher standard. I just try to "love" my way thru difficult situations and have for a long time now and it seems to work for me.
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4/10/11 10:44 am


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Post doyle
History shows that even the best of men, even some of God's champions have succumbed to temptation.

Psalmist David comes to mind. It was on his personal resume that he was a "Man after God's own heart." And yet, he not only committed adultery but had her husband killed. Sadly, it seems he was a miserable Father too.

And yet, he was at times mightily used of God.

I totally understand why it's necessary for there to be a high standard for personal conduct among ministers. But I also understand that even the best of men, even those who love God with all their heart, are vulnerable to temptation.

I've never met anyone who intentionally set out to destroy their influence and remembering that without the shed Blood of Christ, I'd be screaming my way to hell, I am not judgmental toward those who fall into sin.

You may have heard it too but many years ago when someone our family knew and loved, had what is called a moral failure, my Dad told me this:

"When a great champion stallion slips and falls in the mud, he soon recovers and as soon as possible, gets back up and attempts to continue on the journey.

However, you can take a pig, wash it, clean it, paint it's toenails and put a ribbon on it's tail, but the moment it can, it will head for the mud.

It's a case of nature. It is the pig's nature to wallow in the mud. The champion horse was only there because it slipped. Even though he slipped, his true nature takes over and he gets up.

I've seen some great champions slip and fall but I've also seen some of them, actually most of them, recover and continue on the journey. Withing the COG it is true they may never recover the status they once had but dear friends, almost everything God is doing in the world is being done outside the Church of God organization.

That's not a shot at the COG because much good is being done in the Church but there IS MUCH that can be done outside our organization.

Doyle
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4/10/11 7:05 pm


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Post Even the best of men doyle
History shows that even the best of men, even some of God's champions have succumbed to temptation.

Psalmist David comes to mind. It was on his personal resume that he was a "Man after God's own heart." And yet, he not only committed adultery but had her husband killed. Sadly, it seems he was a miserable Father too.

And yet, he was at times mightily used of God.

I totally understand why it's necessary for there to be a high standard for personal conduct among ministers. But I also understand that even the best of men, even those who love God with all their heart, are vulnerable to temptation.

I've never met anyone who intentionally set out to destroy their influence and remembering that without the shed Blood of Christ, I'd be screaming my way to hell, I am not judgmental toward those who fall into sin.

You may have heard it too but many years ago when someone our family knew and loved, had what is called a moral failure, my Dad told me this:

"When a great champion stallion slips and falls in the mud, he soon recovers and as soon as possible, gets back up and attempts to continue on the journey.

However, you can take a pig, wash it, clean it, paint it's toenails and put a ribbon on it's tail, but the moment it can, it will head for the mud.

It's a case of nature. It is the pig's nature to wallow in the mud. The champion horse was only there because it slipped. Even though he slipped, his true nature takes over and he gets up.

I've seen some great champions slip and fall but I've also seen some of them, actually most of them, recover and continue on the journey. Withing the COG it is true they may never recover the status they once had but dear friends, almost everything God is doing in the world is being done outside the Church of God organization.

That's not a shot at the COG because much good is being done in the Church but there IS MUCH that can be done outside our organization.

Doyle
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