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 Sexual Harrasment In The Church of God |
MrSippi |
There was a Church of God pastor in Mobile, Alabama who resigned his church a few weeks ago for inappropriate conduct with several women. He was apparently “sexting†with numerous women in his church.
I don’t personally know this pastor who committed these acts, but I want restoration for him. When I posted about this several days ago, I received an inbox message from the District Overseer, asking me to consider deleting my post because of the pastor’s family. The DO is a really good man whom I respect, so I honored his request. I don’t think he wants to cover it up. He used the words, that it needed to be “fenced in and dealt with appropriately.â€
The reason that I am posting this again is because of the number of people in society who are being exposed for this type of activity. What about the embarrassment that these, apparently numerous, women are feeling? We need to have discussions on how to prevent these tragic acts. I don’t desire to embarrass this particular minister or his family. However, it doesn’t seem fair that we are discussing the character flaws of Roy Moore and Matt Lauer, while we ignore the fact that the same thing is happening in our own ranks among our churches. This church is one of the largest in Alabama.
The discussion doesn’t need to be about this particular pastor. The discussion needs to be about how we prevent ourselves from this same type of distraction and sin! |
Friendly Face
Posts: 156
11/29/17 9:11 am
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Nature Boy Florida |
Deleting the post is covering it up.
Talking about it in the abstract on Acts shouldn't add any extra distress to the pastor's family - or the husbands of the women he was sexting with.
They should already be pretty pissed regardless of Actscelerate.
As anyone on Acts knows - I hope the pastor gets restored with Jesus - but he should not be trusted with another church anytime soon.
_________________
Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going today! |
Acts-pert Poster
Posts: 16641
11/29/17 9:32 am
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UncleJD |
| If there ever was a time to learn a lesson from the Catholic church, its now. They "fenced in" their issues and basically lost Europe over it. There's a reason God is letting these things be brought to the light, and its not to cover them up. |
Golf Cart Mafia Consigliere
Posts: 3145
11/29/17 9:34 am
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Mat |
| UncleJD wrote: | | If there ever was a time to learn a lesson from the Catholic church, its now. They "fenced in" their issues and basically lost Europe over it. There's a reason God is letting these things be brought to the light, and its not to cover them up. |
It is un-Biblical to assume that the sexual nature of man is easily suppressed. The Bible, especially in the New Testament, teaches the "holy" manner in which this nature can be expressed - marriage between a man and a woman - to the point it is the duty of both to satisfy the needs of their spouse.
The Catholic Church, and other denominations, that impose an un-natural prohibition on any sexual expression for their ministry (or members) will find that this powerful nature will be channeled into sinful behavior (fornication, including sex with children, homosexuality, affairs with women - often in the congregation and even with prostitutes - and don't forget porn use).
Jesus taught that the gift of celibacy was rare and few could truly live that life style. We in Pentecostal churches have been foolish about the power of the sexual nature, perhaps in a misguided attempt stems from a "not be judgmental" or in a false pretense of "loving everybody just as they are" proclamation. This is a great way to build your church without having to deal with the subject of sexuality and its power.
Likewise, we have not discerned the power of sexual attraction as opposed to the Holy Spirit anointing. There is much that could be said about what attracts women to men and men to women, but I'm sure some would take offense to such a discussion. Just realize men, if you are in a position of power or authority, you may have some "fans" that are draw to you because of that and not because of what you think is your "anointing" is (some men need to look in the mirror before they think to highly of themselves).
Thanks to electronic media I'm sure more is going to come out. One news commentator said there are rumblings that the tech industry is next in line for revelations (or is that Revelations).
Mat |
Acts Enthusiast
Posts: 1988
11/29/17 10:26 am
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| One Way to Avoid These Issues |
Preacher777 |
I encourage people to follow the agreement my wife and I practice in regards to texting and emails. We make it clear that texts and emails sent to or received from members of the opposite sex will likely be viewed by each other. I see no reason to have conversations with women that are hidden from my wife. I think it makes a lot of sense to let spouses have access to one another's emails.and texts.
Sometimes us men can innocently write things that a woman sees differently. Therefore, I welcome input from my wife in this area. My wife doesn't always want to see every.email.or text but we do update each other on conversations with the opposite sex, maybe just a 5 second mention of what transpired. |
Friendly Face
Posts: 434
11/29/17 10:57 am
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| Some thoughts... |
Aaron Scott |
I don't think I ever really grasped the depth of our sexual nature until I began to realize, more and more, that just about everyone has sex before marriage. I have couples that have attended my church that live together out of wedlock. (I encourage them to marry...but with only moderate success.)
We cannot just say "Thou shalt not" and think that it will have much effect on how a person deals with their sexuality. It not only doesn't work well for heterosexuals, it is just as difficult for homosexuals, apparently, to resist their "un/natural" urges.
What is often worse is that we are dealing with young people whose hormones are firing on all cylinders and who may not have the experience or ability to resist very easily.
THANK GOD FOR THOSE WHO DO RESIST! But the truth is that so many fail in this area--before or during marriage--that one wonders if the ancient Israelites were any better suited to obey. One thing it seems to show, however, is that man didn't "invent" this religion. If so, I have a feeling we'd have made the rules about sex far more lenient.
I think that many Pentecostals make sex to be such a taboo thing that Pentecostal youth are ill-prepared to deal with the sexual drive. I doubt anyone prayed harder for all sexual thoughts and urges to be banished from my teenage mind. Never happened. And it didn't for you either. And I'm not sure it happens for gays either.
Very simply, I had to wrestle, repent, fast, pray...and repeat over and over. My mother and father never made sex a taboo matter...but neither was it something that was discussed. Shoot, if I am watching TV and a couple kiss...well, if my mother and father are there, I'm about ready to change the channel to fishing or what have you.
The problem is that I don't know that there IS a right way to deal with sexuality. Except to TRY to keep oneself pure, married or unmarried. About the best we can tell our youth is "don't!"...and maybe make sure that they are never alone with the opposite sex until marriage???
Some of the best advice I got from a friend when I was dating was, "sit on your hands." HA! Yeah, really...that's what he told me.
As a parent, the only way I know to protect my son when he begins dating is for my wife and I to "double date" with him and his girlfriend(s). Not necessarily sitting at the same table with them, but not letting them spend too much time alone.
Further, today's internet allows sin to be piped into the privacy of your home. There was a time when you would have had to go to a store and ask for a certain type of magazine. That alone likely kept some people from falling into that trap. But when you can see just about any movie you want on the internet...the challenge is multiplied. There is no longer much fear that someone might see you coming out of a store with such a magazine.
I have largely concluded that while we must teach the truth about sexuality, etc., we had better have a forgiveness and restoration plan in motion...because it is very likely that a great percentage of youth in our churches are going to foul up anyway. We can't think that just telling them about it--or NOT telling them about it--actually solves the problem of dealing with this powerful drive.
If it could bring King David low, we, too, must take heed lest we fall. |
Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology
Posts: 6039
11/29/17 12:24 pm
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Quiet Wyatt |
I am always amazed at the way uncontrolled sexual desire can render an otherwise intelligent person as dumb as a rock.
Flee sexual immorality! Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh. Rejoice in the wife of thy youth! Let her breasts satisfy thee at all times. If a man’s ego and sex drive are too big for him to handle within the bonds of holy matrimony, he simply has no business preaching to others unless and until he does get it under control. God gives more than enough grace to keep you faithful to your wife.
Last edited by Quiet Wyatt on 11/29/17 12:45 pm; edited 1 time in total |
[Insert Acts Pun Here]
Posts: 12813
11/29/17 12:43 pm
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UncleJD |
Aaron, a lot of time spent to avoid 1 Timothy 3:2 don't you think? If a minister was sexually harassing or worse my wife or daughter, all that "judge not" stuff (and by that I mean the world's interpretation of that) would be the least of his worries. There is a shaking going on and its long overdue.
Last edited by UncleJD on 11/29/17 1:27 pm; edited 1 time in total |
Golf Cart Mafia Consigliere
Posts: 3145
11/29/17 12:44 pm
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Quiet Wyatt |
| Let me also say, I really thought highly of the brother, and still believe he has a lot to offer the kingdom once he is restored. In my opinion, he definitely has the kind of positive, friendly, highly charismatic personality that people, especially women, would be easily drawn to. It is not difficult to imagine that he would have had some unscrupulous, weak-willed women virtually throwing themselves at him. Doesn’t excuse anything, of course. He should not have engaged in such conduct no matter what. |
[Insert Acts Pun Here]
Posts: 12813
11/29/17 12:54 pm
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Cojak |
I am an ignorant old man. But from my youth until now I think my sex drive was normal for a man. I have little sympathy for a man, preacher or not, who still has the attitude I have heard all my life, "I have got to have some strange stuff!"
Now thank God I was youthful during a different time. My sister married at 15 for life. I married at 17 for life. I have had too much time apart, I do not need any other girl nor time away from this girl of 61 years.
Dating this COG girl, as much as I tried she would not 'go too far' and neither would most of the girls in the 1950s, COG or not. I was deployed not long after this marriage. I visited a whole lot of foreign ports. My shipmates wanted to go directly to a house of ill repute. Some were actual homes withthe mother prostituting her daughters. I went with them. I waited in the living room. With temptation at times scantily dressed sitting beside me to tell me what my wife was doing back in the states, etc.
I did think about it, but never once did I seriously consider it.
So I have very little sympathy for the preacher or any man who said I could not resist. My nephew who lost a large church chasing prostitutes said, "What about David?" My only retort was have you ever 'slain a giant?' That is if you want to compare yourself to David.
I still say it, if you run around on your wife/husband YOU DO NOT REALLY LOVE THEM WITH ALL YOUR HEART!
And for you kids that do not know, near 80 that drive still exists, just sayin! 
_________________
Some facts but mostly just my opinion!
jacsher@aol.com
http://shipslog-jack.blogspot.com/ |
01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011
Posts: 24283
11/29/17 1:52 pm
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Cojak |
| Quiet Wyatt wrote: | I am always amazed at the way uncontrolled sexual desire can render an otherwise intelligent person as dumb as a rock.
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Ain't that the truth! 
_________________
Some facts but mostly just my opinion!
jacsher@aol.com
http://shipslog-jack.blogspot.com/ |
01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011
Posts: 24283
11/29/17 1:58 pm
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| Ridiculous! |
caveator |
| Quiet Wyatt wrote: | | In my opinion, he definitely has the kind of positive, friendly, highly charismatic personality that people, especially women, would be easily drawn to. It is not difficult to imagine that he would have had some unscrupulous, weak-willed women virtually throwing themselves at him. Doesn’t excuse anything, of course. He should not have engaged in such conduct no matter what. |
This kind of statement is part of the problem. This dude was an ego filled predator. This has nothing to do "unscrupulous, weak willed women virtually throwing themselves at him." That statement makes me want to puke! This is about a pervert taking advantage of married women who did not want any part of his advances and eventually told their stories. |
Acts-celerater
Posts: 586
11/29/17 3:53 pm
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| Re: Ridiculous! |
Quiet Wyatt |
| caveator wrote: | | Quiet Wyatt wrote: | | In my opinion, he definitely has the kind of positive, friendly, highly charismatic personality that people, especially women, would be easily drawn to. It is not difficult to imagine that he would have had some unscrupulous, weak-willed women virtually throwing themselves at him. Doesn’t excuse anything, of course. He should not have engaged in such conduct no matter what. |
This kind of statement is part of the problem. This dude was an ego filled predator. This has nothing to do "unscrupulous, weak willed women virtually throwing themselves at him." That statement makes me want to puke! This is about a pervert taking advantage of married women who did not want any part of his advances and eventually told their stories. |
I do not have any of the details of the case in question. I was just looking at it from one side, saying I could definitely see why he would have women interested in him. I also made it clear that he should have never engaged in such activities. If what you are saying is actually what happened, then I am glad he is no longer pastoring, and quite frankly, in my opinion he needs to pursue a different career than ministry, probably for good. I’m sure he would do great in sales.
Last edited by Quiet Wyatt on 11/30/17 1:31 am; edited 1 time in total |
[Insert Acts Pun Here]
Posts: 12813
11/29/17 6:02 pm
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sheepdogandy |
When I began in ministry.
An elder brother wanting to prepare me for any possibility shared the following.
When he was a young preacher, he was conducting a meeting (CoG) one evening he was in the parsonage with the pastor and his wife.
The pastor went into another room at which time the pastor's wife lifted up her dress to reveal that she was wearing nothing underneath.
My friend left and did not allow himself to be alone with the woman again.
No excuse for the person in question, just to say that there is enough blame to go around.
During the oral segment of my ministerial examination, (Exhorter) in NGA many years ago.
One of the brethren examining me stated the following.
"Son, you are a handsome man. One day you will receive a call from a lady who is deathly ill. When you arrive at her house and go into the bedroom. You will find she is NOT sick, and not a lady. When that day comes, RUN! RUN as fast as you can!"
Good advice.
_________________
Charles A. Hutchins
Senior Pastor SPWC
Congregational Church of God
www.spwc.church |
Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology
Posts: 7306
11/29/17 6:28 pm
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| UncleJD... |
Aaron Scott |
| UncleJD wrote: | | Aaron, a lot of time spent to avoid 1 Timothy 3:2 don't you think? If a minister was sexually harassing or worse my wife or daughter, all that "judge not" stuff (and by that I mean the world's interpretation of that) would be the least of his worries. There is a shaking going on and its long overdue. |
I didn't know I was avoiding it. If a minister has a sexual failing, he should ABSOLUTELY be removed. Period.
But the truth is that the church has a premarital sex and extramarital sex record that is not very far from the world's record. While the sin must be dealt with, if we choose to just toss them on the trash heap if they fail...we will soon have very few left.
Yes, I got to marriage a virgin. But I know of plenty of CHURCH FOLKS who didn't. |
Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology
Posts: 6039
11/30/17 7:23 am
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wayne |
| sheepdogandy wrote: | When I began in ministry.
An elder brother wanting to prepare me for any possibility shared the following.
When he was a young preacher, he was conducting a meeting (CoG) one evening he was in the parsonage with the pastor and his wife.
The pastor went into another room at which time the pastor's wife lifted up her dress to reveal that she was wearing nothing underneath.
My friend left and did not allow himself to be alone with the woman again.
No excuse for the person in question, just to say that there is enough blame to go around.
During the oral segment of my ministerial examination, (Exhorter) in NGA many years ago.
One of the brethren examining me stated the following.
"Son, you are a handsome man. One day you will receive a call from a lady who is deathly ill. When you arrive at her house and go into the bedroom. You will find she is NOT sick, and not a lady. When that day comes, RUN! RUN as fast as you can!"
Good advice. |
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Acts Enthusiast
Posts: 1274
11/30/17 10:05 am
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| I haven't read this entire thread...but I've always wondered... |
Tom Sterbens |
Where does social media now fit into the context of Matthew 18:15...
Matthew 18:15 (NASB95)
15 “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.
It seems these days our revised translation is:
"If your brother sins, go to your brother in private...or post about it under an anonymous name in an online social media forum."
Or, as in another thread on this site - make jokes about his demise. |
Golf Cart Mafia Capo Famiglia
Posts: 4508
11/30/17 10:19 am
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| Re: I haven't read this entire thread...but I've always wondered... |
Dave Dorsey |
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| Re: I haven't read this entire thread...but I've always wondered... |
Nature Boy Florida |
| Tom Sterbens wrote: | Where does social media now fit into the context of Matthew 18:15...
Matthew 18:15 (NASB95)
15 “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.
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Tom,
If a brother sinned morally with another man's wife (or worse his child) - should you keep everything private and trust that his re-salvation and sanctification all came the same day - and he can go and sin no more - and you have no obligation to tell anyone.
Certainly that was the thought 40 years ago - but was it the right thought - is it the right interpretation for sexual sins?
_________________
Whether you like it or not, learn to love it, because its the best thing going today! |
Acts-pert Poster
Posts: 16641
11/30/17 10:36 am
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| Re: I haven't read this entire thread...but I've always wondered... |
Tom Sterbens |
| Nature Boy Florida wrote: | | Tom Sterbens wrote: | Where does social media now fit into the context of Matthew 18:15...
Matthew 18:15 (NASB95)
15 “If your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private; if he listens to you, you have won your brother.
|
Tom,
If a brother sinned morally with another man's wife (or worse his child) - should you keep everything private and trust that his re-salvation and sanctification all came the same day - and he can go and sin no more - and you have no obligation to tell anyone.
Certainly that was the thought 40 years ago - but was it the right thought - is it the right interpretation for sexual sins? |
This particular instruction of scripture is NOT given to preserve a secret, it is given to preserve the maximum opportunity for redemption. |
Golf Cart Mafia Capo Famiglia
Posts: 4508
11/30/17 1:31 pm
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