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Aaron Scott

Why is The Church so massively unsuccessful in dealing with premarital sex?

Hon. Dr. in Acts-celeratology Posts: 6032 **1/8/24 12:34 pm**

I trust that things were better in the 1950s, but from what I understand about today's Church, we have almost exactly the same percentage of those engaging in premarital sex as does the non-churched! What in the world???

I think I read that the Center for Disease Control (CDC) estimated that only something like 4% of people over 21 were virgins. Again, WHAT IN THE WORLD?

Are we really that bad...or is the sex drive really that strong?

Harking back to the 50s, I wonder if the same correlation between church and world percentages held? I imagine that non-marrieds everywhere engaged in premarital sex less than now. Today, it's almost unheard of to not live together before marriage.

There is something about "companionship" that can mess us up. Even God saw that it was not good that man should be alone. However, too often companionship is conflated with sex, it seems, when that sort of companionship is reserved for marriage alone.

Ideas on how to handle this issue...without resorting to cloistering or some sort of near-cultish behavior? Can a child go to public school, etc., yet come out the other side still pure?

Let me change that up: Can a good-looking boy or girl do the above? I can understand that some kids have not yet went through a "glow-up," so may not have the same opportunities. But I can tell you that even as a not-so-attractive (to put it mildly) Church of God PK, there were times I likely could have pushed matters just a little and found myself fully compromised.

Again, how do we handle this?

FLRon

Acts-celerater Posts: 776 **1/8/24 1:19 pm**

One thought would to be to reclaim the practice of discipleship and mentorship in our churches. What exactly are we teaching our children in our churches?

I can answer that to a degree because I’ve taught classes in the cog for years as well as being responsible for ordering teaching materials for all age groups.
I believe our Pathway curriculum is woefully inadequate to instruct students in our current culture.

We shy away from addressing sensitive topics such as pre marital sex, addiction, abortion, and other sensitive but relevant topics, or if we do address them, it’s not at an early enough age. Why? Old traditions die hard. Change is hard. Always has been and always will be.

We keep talking about how the kids of today are the church of tomorrow, but do we believe that to the point of teaching them to become the church of tomorrow? How many of our churches have a thriving mentorship program? I’d wager not many. Used to be it was a common thing for an older saint to walk alongside the younger who were just getting started.

Finally, do we even teach or preach on things like practical commitments anymore? If parents aren’t instructing their kids on right and wrong AND neither is the church, how can we reverse the societal trends we are faced with today?
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“Hell will be filled with people that didn’t cuss, didn’t drink, and may even have been baptized. Why? Because none of those things makes someone a Christian.”
Voddie Baucham

Nature Boy Florida

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 16626 **1/8/24 2:02 pm**

Parents can make a difference.

If the parents don't care - what can the church do? Godly Christian girls - left to fend for themselves - are no match for good looking guys that talk a good game regarding Christ - all the while leading them into temptation.

I didn't let my daughter go on a date until she was 18.

I talked to her about all the tricks boys can do.

I talk to her about how much happier she will be later in life if she don't have previous issues with boys - you don't have to hide whenever you see them 20 years from now.

I talk to boys interested in her first. Let them know that if they aren't leading her to a closer walk with Christ, he has no business with her.

She does lots of church things with the boys first. Most never made it past that stage.

She gets it. She wants my approval. I am fortunate.

I think I am the exception - my relationship with my daughter is the exception.

So - imho - a church needs to train the parents - as well as the kids. I ain't talking about no purity ring stuff either. Real guidance - not just a "pledge".
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UncleJD

Golf Cart Mafia Consigliere Posts: 3145 **1/8/24 3:08 pm**

Preacher777

Preacher777 · Friendly Face Posts: 434 **1/8/24 7:11 pm**

NBF and UncleJD,

You both make great points about the importance of parenting. Congratulations of both of you for your success with your children. I appreciate Aaron addressing this issue that seems to often be ignored.

I will try to be tactful but offer another perspective. In my opinion, the biggest challenge to seeing purity among singles is the lack of emphasis on personal daily, continual personal Bible reading, prayer and avoiding the seductive images a man sees on TV, internet etc.

When I was single my Christian friends and I knew we needed to have an hour minimum and probably more devotional time before leaving the house in the morning, Bible studies, midweek service etc. We were extremely evangelistic but knew we could not socialize with the world unless we continually objectively reflected on the situation asking ourselves if we were drawing others to Christ or were they pulling us away?

Many younger people are drawn to churches with music they prefer, not teaching about holiness and ways to separate from sin. I am far from legalistic and understand having grace for the carnality of the unsaved but do believe there is a place for holiness and how it practically applies to our lives of people who are saved. It also helps to have an emphasis which includes the need to spend much more time in prayer and the Word than social media, TV etc with their images that pull men away along with plugging into more than Sunday services.

I am speaking from a man's perspective but feel one reason most women give in is because they realize if they say no the guy will not be strong enough or even have the desire to avoid seeing another woman. My wife discusses these areas with women but we have many discussions with couples about these challenges.

Cojak

01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24281 **1/8/24 7:58 pm**

I believe parenting is the key, especially for young girls. I like NBF's points. My dad, a preacher, taught me well. BUT that did not stop; me from trying to get a good COG girl in the back seat. This girl had a Mother that taught her, and Jack had to have a license to get intimate. We now celebrated our 66 years together married at 17.

Boys need to be taught to RESPECT Her wishes..... As well as follow the Lord. Just my 2 cents.
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