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Losing the last Sibling

 
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Post Losing the last Sibling Cojak
My dad was not always a preacher. He was a p-nut farmer, cotton mill worker and a loom fixer. He had a 3rd grade formal education. After a few years of marriage he 'felt called to preach'. He raised the first of his family during the depression, two boys served in WWII. He organized his first church inthe early 1930s and it was called the South Gastonia COG, it still exists.. The family was a total of 7 children. I was the baby, I am now 79+.

We came home from Florida this spring to help my last sister 'merge' into an assisted living home. When we came home 5 weeks ago she was healthy and running up and down stairs at 82. She had never spent a night in a hospital.

This week health deteriorated FAST. She passed this week. As she left this life I asked her to tell the rest of the family hello for me and save me a place.

I was a little down as I talked to her this week about friend Bonnie's passing at such a young age. NEVER thinking that she, my sister, would follow so soon.

Now today my wife tells me that Howard Sloan, a friend and former paster died this week also.

i know this doesn't have an effect on most of you who read. But I am nostalgic this evening. Remembering just knowing Bonnie here on Acts, remembering a pastor I kept saying I would get in contact with and take him out for dinner (and never did).
I remember a country church my dad pastored. I was 4 my sister at home was 6. She taught me to ride a bicycle, play hopscotch and even play dolls. Most of you won't remember girl's dolls. you dressed them with clothes that had tabs you bent to hold them on. It was sissy, but she was my only playmate at home.

She was always a 'classy lady', never a slur or nasty word, but at the end dementia was taking over. She told me 'Do not tell the pastor I am in the hospital'.

Our pastor. Danny Peterson, is a great guy. Of course he would visit. He walked into her room and her first words were, "OH $H-T".

He did not miss a beat , " Sister Shirley, that up sets me. It isn't fair, you can say that and I can't." He is also a PK and Shirley thought the world of him.

I don't know why I am posting this, but my pastor's support has been wonderful. For me and my wife. I guess I am trying to say to you who are pastors, "God Bless YOU, for all you do for us members. WE appreciate it more than you will ever know.."

I am old enough to call him by his first name lots of times. Pastors are a gift from God. Love you guys! It is good to cry sometimes, I am now. YOu guys who REALLY pastor are the best.

Cool
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6/15/18 10:56 pm


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Post Cojak
Buddy Turner and his wife (retired pastors) who were missionary supporters are the only folks who have accepted our invite to stay in our home in 'Florida. While there he learned Danny might be our pastor. They both said, "he is one of the best, you will be blessed."

WE ARE!
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6/15/18 11:05 pm


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Post Carolyn Smith
Oh, Cojak! I'm so sorry to hear that your sister has passed so quickly! I know that has to be really tough on you, especially as she is your last sibling.

It is really sobering to lose people that are close to you. When my sister's husband passed last year so suddenly, it was a harsh blow of reality, and I realized for the first time that I would eventually lose those close to me, too.

I doubt that this will be much comfort to you, but it really is a blessing that the dementia was only intense for a short period of time. A lot of people go on in that state for years. My mother would have been so mortified if she had been aware of what she was doing and saying. Her language also became quite salty! Things my mother never would have said, but I'm told that in dementia, that filter in your brain that can make decisions like that is just gone. I do not believe God holds them accountable for such things.

Hugs and prayers for you, Cojak! I'm so glad your pastor has been there for you.
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6/16/18 12:33 am


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Post georgiapath
I am so sorry for your loss, I'm crying just reading your post. Acts-dicted
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6/16/18 6:33 am


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Post When we all ... Mat
When we all get to heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be ...

Mat
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6/16/18 7:53 am


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Post JLarry
Cojak I enjoyed your post. Sorry about your loss.

My wife is reading "Mary Jane". I read part of your post to her, we got a laugh about sisters first words to pastor.

My wifes grandfather received the HG in 1925. Never a bad word until he had mental problems, then It was called hardening of the arteries. He would use bad words.
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6/16/18 8:00 am


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Post JLarry
Cojak I enjoyed your post. Sorry about your loss.

My wife is reading "Mary Jane". I read part of your post to her, we got a laugh about sisters first words to pastor.

My wifes grandfather received the HG in 1925. Never a bad word until he had mental problems, then It was called hardening of the arteries. He would use bad words.
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6/16/18 8:00 am


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Post Preacher777
I enjoyed your post and am so sorry for your loss. It is great having people like you who fill this board with quality posts. I really enjoy the things you share about the "old days." Friendly Face
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6/16/18 8:09 am


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Post Shalom Cojak Isa 58:12
I too am very sorry for the loss of ur sister. I pray & trust the Ruach HaKodesh, Holy Spirit to comfort you all in ur loss. ShabBAT Shalom Cojak
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6/16/18 9:36 am


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Post Cojak
JLarry wrote:
Cojak I enjoyed your post. Sorry about your loss.

My wife is reading "Mary Jane". I read part of your post to her, we got a laugh about sisters first words to pastor.

My wifes grandfather received the HG in 1925. Never a bad word until he had mental problems, then It was called hardening of the arteries. He would use bad words.


I smiled at the 'hardening of the arteries', yep I grew up with that term. It is easy to smile, laugh and cry with one with dementia..... I am appreciating yours and all the comments.... Thanks
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6/16/18 8:53 pm


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Post The worst PK day of sister Shirley and me. Cojak
My dad loved his members. So much so that if one did not accept new changes such as TV, then we could not have one. So there was never a TV in the parsonage.
When my dad pastored Albemarle, NC I was first trumpet in the band and Sister Shirley was the Drum major to lead the parade at Thanksgiving. Mama had made her a uniform that was a dress but long enough to be 'church accepted'. The day of the parade We were in uniform and dad was going to take us to the designated drop off place.
A member, Sister Burris, walked up in the drive way and told daddy. "This is a sin. I cannot let you do this. I will lay down behind your car and you will have to run over me to take these children to a sinful parade."

Dad stood there, shook his head, palmed his face, then told us to go back in the house. We did not go. That was long before cell phones. Filling my spot was no problem, but the band leader himself had to lead the parade. Needless to say we were not too popular after that.

NOW MY POINT: Before Shirley died she had rewritten history. She said, "Jack, remember when Sister Burris told daddy she would lay down behind his car and he said, go ahead sister I am about to put tire tracks on your body. Then we went on and I lead the parade."

I said yes sweetheart we had a good time. She finally felt good about one of the worst days of her childhood.

She continued to tell that story until she died.

Funny how at a death, LIFE GET SERIOUS.

She fussed at our pastor, she would say 'joking' as she shook his hand leaving the church, "I won't be back, that was the worst sermon I ever heard."

He would say, "Promises, promises!" and the two PK's would laugh.

I will miss my talented sister. She loved the Lord, our parents and the COG. She even loved her brother.

Oh yes, and Thank all of you for the comments, prayers and thoughts.

In my dad's old bible which she kept. I found this handwritten note:

For God so loved SHIRLEY, that he gave his only son so she could be saved.
Smile
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6/16/18 9:19 pm


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Post georgiapath
Preacher777 wrote:
I enjoyed your post and am so sorry for your loss. It is great having people like you who fill this board with quality posts. I really enjoy the things you share about the "old days."


me too
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6/18/18 12:31 pm


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Post UncleJD
I'm sorry to hear that Cojak. My mother's oldest and closest sister passed away 2016 (can't believe its already been that long). She was her last living sibling. They all died from around 2003 - 2016. There were 9 siblings and now Mom is the last one. She feels very lonely sometimes. It helps to have her children and grandchildren around who adore her, but I guess there is no replacement for the ones that you grew up with and shared so much of life with that you can no longer call and discus those things with. I'm glad that we aren't as the world and have the hope to renew those relationships in God's heaven. God bless you Golf Cart Mafia Consigliere
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6/18/18 12:44 pm


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