Actscelerate.com

Resident Skeptic

"I know the doctrine and theology......

Acts-dicted Posts: 8065 **1/9/18 3:44 pm**

..........but right now they don't mean much to me. This time there's only one thing I've got to know. Do I trust you Lord?" (Twila Paris)

Yes, I trust HIM, but I have really begun to question my ability to hear from him. So, while I trust him, I don't trust me. And when you get to that point, you feel bad even trying to approach the throne of grace boldly.

I do not remember who it was that posted recently about speaking the word over the deceased , unborn baby in his wife's womb, and it not coming back to life. If I recall correctly, that experience had awoken that poster to the fact that some things he had been taught concerning faith and authority had been wrong. What about divine guidance and provision? I've always taken the cautious approach, resting heavily upon the admonition of James, "If God wills, we will do this or that." I've never bought into the "prosperity is a divine right" extremism. And for most of my Christian life it did seem that God was blessing. From my Bible college days until 2010 my life seemed to be one big miracle of provision. That all came to a halt in 2010 and really tanked in 2012. I've never recovered. My family suffers. My marriage suffers.

In the Fall of 2016 I began my first semester of graduate school. I will graduate, most likely with honors, in May 2019. Sadly, what little income I had withered at the end of 2016, due to some very strange circumstances. Last year I worked very little. I'm basically living off of my student loans, thus my debt is exploding, which I never intended. What few replies I've gotten from online job apps were not compatible with my school schedule. My church life is in disarray. I cannot really get involved, somewhat for shame. Inevitably, my lack of giving will raise eyebrows. I am still frequently invited to preach in various places. People always shake their heads and ask me, "why aren't you pastoring? That was incredible!"

I can't go on with this post. You get the picture. How much longer can I go on until a real mental or physical breakdown occurs?

I feel like I've let God down in a big way.
_________________
"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves UPCI

Quiet Wyatt

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 12792 **1/9/18 3:53 pm**

We can say with confidence that God is pleased with you because you still trust Him in the midst of your hardship. God says, â€œMy righteous one shall live by faith.â€ You have not let God down, nor has He let you down. In this world we will have tribulation, but be of good cheer (have confident trust and hope), for the Jesus you trust has overcome the world.

Cojak

01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24277 **1/9/18 4:00 pm**

Dave Dorsey

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 13654 **1/9/18 4:08 pm**

RS, that was me that posted that, and I know I've said some ill-considered things to you at times, which hopefully can be written off to my youth, but I would be glad to talk with you online or on the phone sometime this week if you are free and to share some more of what that journey has entailed for me and to hear listen to yours.

Even with four miscarriages, I would not compare my suffering with yours. Ours occurred with four events of extreme intensity that were relatively short lived. Your suffering has clearly been much more protracted and painful. But I do think I have learned from the Scriptures how to rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

What an odd thing to say -- that our suffering is what ultimately produces an assurance of God's love for us and a hope for which we will never be ashamed. It's a hope that is focused on the eschaton and the ultimate and inevitable making-right of all things by the Lord Jesus Christ. A hope that, through suffering, has learned the assurance discovered through the knowledge that no temporal suffering can separate us from His love or His plan, no matter how severe. That He is sovereign over all, including our suffering and our pain, and that nothing befalls us except that which He has purposed for our good. Those are fighting words among Pentecostals and charismatics. But what if they are true? What if He really does number the hairs on our head, know what we have need of, and holds us in his perfect sovereign plan? Those are hard words to consider for someone who has lost four babies. I'm sure they're hard to consider for you too. But at the end of that meditation, my my, what tremendous peace and hope awaits.

I love you, brother. I am sorry you are suffering. I am here for you in any way I can be.

Cojak

01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24277 **1/9/18 7:53 pm**

This is ONE of the major reasons I frequent this site. I love it when we as Christians take time to understand and show compassion during the tough times. I love it! Very good comments and support, makes me smile inside, God is GOOD! Prayers here. Cool

_________________
Some facts but mostly just my opinion!
jacsher@aol.com
http://shipslog-jack.blogspot.com/

Old Time Country Preacher

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 15564 **1/9/18 10:20 pm**

RS, son, me an you have bickered back an forth (mostly in fun) over the Jesus Only stuff for a long time. But ya postins on Acts lets me know ya love God and have a heart to please him. That said, I ain't gonna give ya no carnal Copeland pseudo-prophecy. I ain't gonna even hint at no woffie ridiculosity bout prosperity. What I do wanna share with ya is this:

1. God is faithful.

2. God will NEVER put more on ya than ya can bear.

3. In ever single thing ya goin through, the good Book says its all gonna work fer ya good.

4. God will take what the devil intended fer evil, turn it around, an bring good.

5. In due season you gonna reap if ya don't give up an quit.

Resident Skeptic

Acts-dicted Posts: 8065 **1/10/18 8:21 am**

I want to thank each of you for reaching out to me in love and encouragement. For some reason, yesterday was a low point. Today I awoke knowing that his steadfast love never changes, and his mercies that never come to an end are new every morning. Great is his faithfulness!!
i will continue to keep all of you updated.
_________________
"It is doubtful if any Trinitarian Pentecostals have ever professed to believe in three gods, and Oneness Pentecostals should not claim that they do." - Daniel Segraves UPCI

Resident Skeptic

Acts-dicted Posts: 8065 **1/10/18 8:25 am**

Resident Skeptic

Acts-dicted Posts: 8065 **1/10/18 8:26 am**

Resident Skeptic

Acts-dicted Posts: 8065 **1/10/18 8:27 am**

bradfreeman

Acts-dicted Posts: 9027 **1/10/18 11:15 am**

Preacher777

RE, this is for you as You are not alone

Friendly Face Posts: 434 **1/11/18 6:24 am**

RS, I commend you for making decisions in ministry that were not condusive to doing what is best fro your personal finances. A summary of your actions is that you seem to be called to ministry at all costs. God sees your heart so please do not ever beat yourself up again.

Ironically, I just listened to a teaching on dealing with depression as part of my required continuing education requirements for my State counseling license. I am amazed how these secular psychologists often teach theories that are Bible truths without scripture! Many times I use the same theories in the context of scripture in Christian counseling.

Often I use the example in preaching of how Paul had to forget the things behind and do one thing-press forward because without self compassion THROUGH THE BLOOD OF CHRIST he could have constantly beaten beaten himself up over killing Christians. Instead, he focused on the future and God's glorious plans for his life. Let God do the same for you. I can tell you have a great heart for God's truth and work.

If you and your wife saw a hurting, crying lost 2 year-old wandering around the mall picture what you would do? I a sure you would help and comfort him or her. Self compassion is letting yourself receive the same love and comfort from our heavenly father. God has plans for you and your ministry.

Feel free to get in touch if you ever need to talk.

Resident Skeptic

Re: RE, this is for you as You are not alone

Acts-dicted Posts: 8065 **1/18/18 7:35 pm**