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Ernie Long

How would you officiate a funeral

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1050 **3/30/16 8:50 am**

and what would you say about the decease who backslid from God, was living in sin (by their admission), but because they felt they had went to church and helped in the church (played the guitar) that they were still going to Heaven.

Before this person died, I tried to talk to them and their church friends have talked with them about what they were doing, but they felt they were doing nothing wrong and it was no one else's business what they did.

What would you say about this person at their funeral? I will speak about their job they retired from and their hobbies. Their sister, who lives in Oregon, believes they were a saint, because she has told me all they talked about was how they loved our church. They had friends that don't go to church and they knew this person did, so I am assuming they will expect to hear how they work in the church, loved the Lord, and are walking the streets of Glory, but I will not preach them into Heaven.

So, how would you do this funeral?

Cojak

01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24285 **3/30/16 10:17 am**

Most of us THINK we know the final destination of the soul. That is territory only God KNOWS. A funeral is a time for the family, a time to comfort. I would list every good thing I could about the guy. Nothing you or the family can say or do will determine 'his' destination, but love his family. They need love and comfort now more than anytime in their lives, in relation to the dead.

God in his love as a father, determines our end.

Best of luck my friend, this is one of the times a real pastor with heart is needed. Cool

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Quiet Wyatt

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 12817 **3/30/16 11:47 am**

If I am unsure of the deceased's final destiny, I generally try to focus on what I DO know; i.e., good things the deceased did in his lifetime, how important family and friends were to him, and on the hope of the gospel.

Eddie Robbins

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 16509 **3/30/16 12:13 pm**

Is it the preacher's job to proclaim someone a sinner, destined for hell at a funeral? How sick would that be??

Ernie Long

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1050 **3/30/16 12:44 pm**

Cojak

01000001 01100011 01110100 01110011 Posts: 24285 **3/30/16 12:45 pm**

wayne

my thoughts

Acts Enthusiast Posts: 1274 **3/30/16 1:32 pm**

Ernie,
I remember when I had my first heart attack about 7 years ago, I was in the ER, not able to speak but I could hear everything that was going on around me. I remember them trying to talk to me, asking me if they could cut my shirt off, telling the nurses to give me more nitroglycerin, heard someone say very clearly get the paddles ready and all the while I was having a conversation with God. I wasn't speaking with my mouth because I am not sure I could talk but I remember my conversation with God.
I told Him that I trust him, I told Him that I know he will take care of my wife and 3 kids and I said You are in charge and the next thing I remembers is waking up in the CICU.

I told you that story because it helped me preach funerals. It told me that even though we don't hear the person confess their sins, God is still speaking to them and quite possibly they are still speaking to God. Yes, I had all those people working to keep me alive but my heart and mind was on God in the midst of all that chaos. That heart attack showed me how merciful and loving that God really is to us all. Yes I was a preacher, a pastor and I just started a church but does that mean I was ready to meet God? I'm not sure but I do know I was talking to my maker and I knew He was in charge and I was not afraid of death (death where is your sting).

I found a scripture verse that validated what happened to me: Jonah 2:7 Jonah 2:7 (KJV) When my soul fainted within me I remembered the LORD: and my prayer came in unto thee, into thine holy temple.

Jonah had a conversation with God in his mind just like I did. Had Jonah died in that fish without remembering God, I'm sure he would be in hell but he remembered just like I did.

I hope this helps. Preach Christ, preach mercy, preach faith, lift the family up and leave them feeling encouraged.

Link

Acts-perienced Poster Posts: 11849 **3/30/16 1:59 pm**

Are you going to have a eulogy as a part of it? Friends could tell stories and give the eulogy. You could follow up with a more generic message on getting ready to meet your maker, what Thessalonians says about the resurrection, etc.
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Eddie Robbins

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 16509 **3/30/16 2:11 pm**

Eddie Robbins

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 16509 **3/30/16 2:13 pm**

Quiet Wyatt

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 12817 **3/30/16 2:20 pm**

If the funeral is for someone I know very well, whose life of faith in Jesus I am sure of, I have no problem saying I believe they are in Heaven.

Eddie Robbins

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 16509 **3/30/16 2:44 pm**

Except, you don't really know where they are. Heaven? Paradise? With the Lord? Shouting on the streets of Glory? Soul sleep? We don't know for sure. What I do know is that they are not angels, like so many think.

Quiet Wyatt

[Insert Acts Pun Here] Posts: 12817 **3/30/16 2:52 pm**

If I found the doctrine of soul sleep (or annihilationism or universalism or you name it) persuasive, then that would be the basic background from which I would approach funerals. Every minister who ever preaches anything has to be persuaded in his own mind as to how he understands Scripture.

brotherjames

Here's how I did it

Acts-celerater Posts: 935 **3/30/16 3:24 pm**

I was asked by a lady in my church to do a funeral for her cousin who was not a Christian. I asked her why she wanted me to do it as he never went to a church. She replied she felt the family should be ministered to and she wanted them to have an opportunity to hear about Jesus. I approach most funerals as an evangelistic opportunity so I agreed. The family, two sons and a wife, didn't want to meet with me and I was apprehensive about doing the funeral but they agreed to it. I gathered as much info on the gentleman as I could and determined there wasn't much to like about him.I am not his judge, God is so I never indicated where he might or not be and I spoke nicely about the few good character traits he had and allowed some family to share but it was brief. I then proceeded to preach a gospel message using Jesus' story of the rich man and Lazarus but in no way related the rich man in hell to the deceased but merely used it to say if the deceased was here he would implore his family to get right with God so they might see him again and I gave an altar call which got no response.

I ministered in love to these people the Gospel of God's Grace. After the interment the sons came up to me quite angry and indicated that they were upset by the idea they should have to be born again and angry that I was even there. My contention was at least perhaps a seed was sown and beyond that they heard the truth and I would never have to stand before God with their blood on my hands. I did it in love and gentleness but I am reminded of the scripture in 2 Cor. 2:14-17 But thanks be to God, who always leads us as captives in Christ's triumphal procession and uses us to spread the aroma of the knowledge of him everywhere. (15) For we are to God the pleasing aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. (16) To the one we are an aroma that brings death; to the other, an aroma that brings life. And who is equal to such a task? (17) Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, as those sent from God.

Old Time Country Preacher

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 15570 **3/30/16 3:27 pm**

brotherjames

BTW Eddie

Acts-celerater Posts: 935 **3/30/16 3:59 pm**

I missed this in your post previously, "Soul Sleep" ???? Seriously, I don't even think Andy Stanley believes in that one. 2 Co 5:8 We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.

Eddie Robbins

Re: BTW Eddie

Acts-pert Poster Posts: 16509 **3/30/16 4:11 pm**

Link

Acts-perienced Poster Posts: 11849 **3/31/16 8:58 am**

I was on Facebook a while back and the name of an old high school friend came to mind. I found him on facebook, then another classmate, then another. One one of the guy's pages, I saw a post about his outrage at a preacher.

The guy had become a homosexual and had gotten so-called 'gay married.' I hadn't seen this guy since he was 14 in high school, so I didn't know. His partner had died, and he was upset about the funeral. A funeral had been arranged at a church. Instead of celebrating the dead homosexual partner's life, the preacher told the people who they needed to accept Jesus. He said the preacher didn't acknowledge him as the deceased husband or tell the stories he'd written down for the preacher to tell about the man's life. He only briefly mentioned one thing.

Then he said that he and his brother talked about it (a fraternal twin I knew in school also) and decided not to give the preacher any money. He seemed to think he was really getting back at the preacher this way. He thought that the preacher hadn't done his job.

I friended the guy so I could post a response.

I posted, gently, a response defending the preacher. I said that the preacher's job is to get people ready to meet their maker. In a lot of church traditions, funerals aren't about 'celebrating someone's life.' It is difficult to tell stories of someone you don't know. That's better left to eulogies by friends and relatives. I told him he could have some kind of meeting to do that if he wanted to. I also pointed out that a lot of preachers like this do this as ministry and outreach, not as some kind of source of income, at least I hope that's the motivation.

He didn't respond back. One guy responded back positively. Most comments were from people who thought like him, probably gays, who were outraged at the preacher for daring to preach the Gospel (presumably) at a funeral in the church building where this meeting was held.

Then I kept getting messages on my facebook page about how much this guy missed his partner. I looked at older messages from the guy and I was concerned that posts might turn into pictures of dudes in their underpants and other stuff I didn't want to read, so I figured out how to unfollow him without defriending him. I figured I'd leave a door open for communication just in case.
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roughridercog

Re: How would you officiate a funeral

Acts Mod Posts: 25305 **3/31/16 9:04 am**