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Beliefs on Marriage

 
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Every once in a while, I come across someone in the Charismatic movement with some strange beliefs on marriage, either in person, or on the Internet.

A few days ago, a fellow I encountered on the Internet thought that it wasn't a real marriage if an old white guy goes to the Philippines and married a young woman and supported her family. He called it prostitution. The thing is, I think it's pretty common for Filippinas to give their parents and on-going stream of money. They give to other relatives. It's part of the culture. Jews were trying to use vows to get out of supporting their parents in Matthew 15, and Jesus strongly rebuked them for it.

I see in the Bible they had bride prices. Overseas, there are all kinds of marriage customs like that vary from culture to culture, bride prices, dowries for women, arranged marriages, etc. Rebecca was probably a teenager, and Isaac was 40 when they got married. It was also something along the lines of an arranged marriage. They had never seen each other. Boaz was probably a lot older than Ruth.

There is another guy who makes these intense videos about prayer and odd sounding things about spiritual warfare who gets a lot of hits on YouTube. From listening to his videos, it seems like he believes that you could get married, and the Lord could tell you that the person you marry is not really your spouse. He was on Dr. Phil, and they had a woman on there who went to the neighborhood where they have his ministry and food pantry, and told her husband that the Lord says they weren't to be together, then got 'married'-- but not legally to another guy and had a baby with him. This guy from YouTube didn't do anything against it and said to Dr. Phil it wasn't his job to enforce the Ten Commandments, though I guess she was hanging out there at the ministry. It sure seems in line with some of his teachings. I saw another video with another woman who said she did something similar after coming under his influence.

The weird thing was, thinking that Jesus has to tell you are married for it to be a real marriage. That can lead to people hearing whatever voice about their marriage and could break up over that.

Both of these people did not seem to be from Pentecostal backgrounds. One seems to be more influenced by the 'prophetic movement' and signs and wonders movement. The other was a Baptist who seems to have started his own Charismatic thing over time.

I did talk with a woman who was part of the COG, but a Charismatic congregation in Indonesia-- which has a different feel to it and has different emphases than the COG in the US-- who had heard testimonies about God putting people together to marry. She said you had to marry the person God wanted you with, because if you made a mistake, you might have to get a divorce and find the right person. I disagreed with that. I thought it was some really wrong thinking.

I think these sort of things are good reasons to keep up some good practical teaching on marriage from time to time We see the understanding of marriage in our culture has deteriorated with all these court decisions. But even for husband-and-wife marriages, it seems like some folks try to overspiritualize things and get away from the word.
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9/26/15 2:52 pm


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Post bonnie knox
Marriage is a covenant, even if it is to an old white guy, lol. [Insert Acts Pun Here]
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9/26/15 3:02 pm


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bonnie knox wrote:
Marriage is a covenant, even if it is to an old white guy, lol.


I said something like that to him, and a lot of other things. (The blogger from the Bob Jones thread.)

I don't have a problem with encouraging young women to be selective and not to marry based on fear of not having enough financial provision. It's sad if some of the poor Filippinas marry an old white guy for his money so they won't be poor, sad for the woman and also for the old white guy. But I'm not in favor of telling married people their marriages are prostitution because of an age gap and their supporting their parents or in-laws.

Maybe he's seen a lot of sleazy sex tourists marrying young women. I don't like to see that sort of thing, but if they marry, they should repent and serve the Lord and be faithful to their wives.
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9/26/15 4:01 pm


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Post Is that blogger married? Mat
Is that blogger married? The wife of my youth (40 years in Nov) and I would tell you much of marriage is a financial transaction. You know the old saying, "marry for love the first time, for money the second." Is that "Bob Jones" blogger in the same camp as Bill Gothard (sp)?

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9/26/15 6:21 pm


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Post Re: Is that blogger married? Link
Mat wrote:
Is that blogger married? The wife of my youth (40 years in Nov) and I would tell you much of marriage is a financial transaction. You know the old saying, "marry for love the first time, for money the second." Is that "Bob Jones" blogger in the same camp as Bill Gothard (sp)?

Mat


He didn't answer the question when I asked him if he were married or celibate.

His post reminded me of some thoughts I'd had in the past about all those Roman Catholic sexual rules being written by priests and monks who were forced into celibacy if they wanted to have much of a say in church leadership or theology. You know, like the guy who said that the Holy Spirit left the room if the Holy Spirit had sex, or the folks who set up all these restrictions and fasting days so that couples could rarely have sex with each other in the middle ages.

Personally, I think there is a legitimate extent to which a woman can have a man being able to provide as a selection criteria for marriage without it being greed.
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